Beer! That'll Shut 'Em Up!

From MSNBC Weird News:

"A 38-year-old man was cited for disorderly conduct in Fond du Lac, Wis., in September after he bought a beer for his sons, ages 2 and 4, at the county fair. He could not be cited for providing alcohol to minors because, under Wisconsin law, parents are exempt, but he was written up for swearing at police. [Post Crescent (Appleton, Wis.), 9-24-08]"

Way to go, dad! Give your kids beer! That'll shut 'em up! (For Travis: Diamonds! That'll shut 'er up!!!) How cool is it that the law doesn't apply to parents? We should have lived there so we could have had more pasture parties with legally obtained booze! But, how fucked up is that? I mean, they were TWO and FOUR! He must be related to Britney Spears. Or Michael Jackson. Well, wait, if it were Michael, he'd be giving them beer for entirely different reasons...

Can't Conceal? Open Carry.

From MSNBC Weird News:

"Meleanie Hain's Pennsylvania concealed-weapons permit was revoked in September after spectators complained about her openly carrying her loaded, holstered Glock at her 5-year-old daughter's soccer game. However, the only penalty under state law is the loss of the privilege of concealment, so that if Hain continues to carry the gun, she must do so openly. [Times Leader (Wilkes Barre)-AP, 9-26-08]"

That's awesome. People bitched about her carrying it openly, so now the only way she can carry it is openly. That's what you get for being a farking arsehole, kids. But, that makes absolutely no sense. You can carry a gun openly, with no permit, but if you get a permit, you can't carry it openly, or you'll lose your permit. Gun laws are bassackwards.

Reason #473 Why Guns Should be Allowed on Campus

Elizabeth Pittenger was shot during a mugging for her cell phone and laptop. She knew she was supposed to just give the guy whatever he wanted, but she just reacted, and she fought back. Stupid move, probably, but good for you, girl! At least she wasn't going to take it lying down. But, the guy who wrestled her phone away from her then pulled out a gun. And shot her. Amazingly, her oversized (and overstuffed) handbag saved her life. The contents were severely damaged, and she lost her bag and many of the contents to evidence, but she was completely unharmed. Safe. And the cops actually caught the guy because they heard the gunshot and got there fast. Unfortunately, they weren't there to keep her from getting shot, which is reason #473 why guns should be allowed on campus. If it weren't for her bag, she'd probably have died. For a cell phone. If she'd had a gun, she could have protected herself. Since the guy didn't pull the gun until after the struggle, she would have had time to pull hers. But she can't have one. Because it's campus.

Christmas Questionnaire

Because I'm feeling uninspired today, a little, bullshit post to tide you over:

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? I prefer wrapping paper. Bags are super expensive, and they are just a lot less fun to unwrap.
2. Real tree or Artificial? I love real trees, but they are a lot of trouble and messy. I guess it's artificial again this year.
3. When do you put up the tree? Around Thanksgiving, usually. But, I really want it up NOW, so I may put it up early. I know, that's so taboo!
4. When do you take the tree down? Before the first.
5. Do you like eggnog? I don't think I've ever had any.
6. Favorite gift received as a child? Um, I had a Big Foot power wheels truck thingy. I loved the shit out of that thing. I also had this bear that had a little bear of his own. He had pajamas on, and he talked. It was the sweetest thing ever.
7. Hardest person to buy for? Most men.

8. Easiest person to buy for? Most women.
9. Do you have a nativity scene? No.
10. Mail or email Christmas cards? Mail--hand written addresses.

11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? Um, probably all the little knickknacks and stuff people give. I don't like clutter. I don't like little figurines.
12. Favorite Christmas Movie? Charlie Brown
13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? I try to get some done in October and finish in November.
14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? Probably.
15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Christmas morning breakfast at Granny Helen's. She makes a mean gravy biscuit. Mmmm...I'm a fatty!
16. Lights on the tree? Yes? Do you not put lights on your tree?

17. Favorite Christmas song? Anything Elvis. Blue Christmas is a goody.
18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? We always used to go to Granny Helen's, but that was a mile away. I don't think that is traveling. Now that I'm away from home, I'll be traveling back.
19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer's? Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen, Rudolph--and I didn't cheat.
20. Angel on the tree top or a star? Star. I need a good angel. Last year was the first year I had a tree of my own, so now I'm buying lots of personal ornaments and stuff.
21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? I try to open them early, but Dad always made me wait. Now, it's sort of messed up with me being gone. We just do it when we can.
22. Most annoying thing about this time of the year? Mall traffic.
23. Favorite ornament theme or color? Ones that mean something.
24. Favorite for Christmas dinner? Dessert.
25. What do you want for Christmas this year? Um, a diamond ring.

Veterans Don't Get What They Deserve

From Cagle Cartoons, by Jim Day of the Las Vegas Review Journal.

I hoped so much that this wasn't true, but I found this article, and it absolutely is: "More than 25 percent of the homeless population in the United States are military veterans, although they represent 11 percent of the civilian adult population". Only 11 percent of the adult population, and they make up 25 percent of the homeless. That's unbelievable. How is it that our veterans, who fought for our lives and freedoms, risking their own lives, can be in such a horrible situation now? I don't understand it. Why is it that lazy, good-for-nothings can lay up at home on Welfare and food stamps, while these honorable and venerable veterans are out on the streets with nothing? Someone please explain this to me.