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Confession: I had a Nervous Breakdown in Public

I alluded to this previously. I thought it deserved a blog post.

I had to go to the unemployment office to reapply for unemployment when my severance ran out. Why they can't just do that if you are certifying I don't know. So, I have to get up at the ass crack, go stand in line for an hour, deal with fucking morons who can't figure out which end to shit out of, and get a different answer from every person I talk to. It's a blast.

So, I do my time in line, and they check me in. And, they tell me to go sit down and wait for my name to be called. Um, didn't I just wait in line? Whatever. So, I sit and wait for my name to be called. I go up, and I tell her my severance has ran out, and she reopens my claim. Then, she says I need to meet with a reemployment representative, and she says to sit down and they will call my name. So, I sit, and I wait, and no one calls my name. After 30 more minutes, I go up and ask what the hold up is, you know, besides their complete idiocy.

She tells me I was supposed to go into the reemployment workshop that start an hour ago that is two hours long that will not begin again for another hour. So, I'm like, um, no. So, she gets someone from that department to meet with me one on one. And, he says I wasn't even supposed to meet with him. I just needed to reopen my claim, and I could go.

Awesome. Two hours of my life I'll never get back.

But it gets better.

I ask what will happen if I miss these stupid little workshops if I am working full time. And, he's like, if you're working full time, you don't get unemployment. And, I'm like, what the fuck?

And, I. Lose. It.

Because I will not even be making as much as my unemployment benefit while teaching (and the unemployment benefit is a third of what I made before).

I fucking lost it.

In public.

Like breakdown. In tears.

Dude did not know what to do.

Poor guy.

So, he gets a claims person to come over, and she confirms what I thought before (he was wrong), and I run like hell.

I was already supposed to be at school observing any way, and I was worried about being so late.

I know, it was stupid, but I was in there, I was shaking, I was nervous, I was red faced and my blood pressure was spiking, I was sick to my stomach, and I was just all around not feeling well. The stress was just getting to me. And, when he told me I was basically fucked, I just couldn't handle it all. I guess that makes me a weak person, but I am about two seconds from going to get some anxiety drugs. I have always been high strung, but this is unreal. For anyone who has ever experienced a panic attack, a nervous breakdown, or any other mental issue, it is a real and true medical problem. You are not alone. There is nothing wrong with you. I just wanted to get that public service announcement out.



  1. Not sure if you call it panic attacks,but from time to time I have mild to moderate episodes of post traumatic syndrome, or flash backs.

    It the reason why I don't do 4th of July fireworks or get a little twitchy when it thunderstorms.

  2. I hyperventilated and basically couldn't control myself for about an hour when my father died. I guess when your mind just can not take it any more it just shuts down. I don't like remembering that day.

  3. Ah the very nice people at the employment office. Why is it that the one program that I feel OK taking advantage of (because it is paid for by my employers) is run by people who act like it is THEIR money? None of the welfare type programs are like that. Hell, the more they give out, the better they feel. It's like job security for them.


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