I Will Do This

It's official. I'm going back to school.

It's been a month, and I haven't gotten any calls for any permanent positions, even though I've applied to over 50 jobs. I don't know what else to do. I've been talking about doing nursing for a long time, and I think that this is as good a time as any. I've applied and been accepted to Georgia Highlands College. I'll be applying to the nursing program in the next week or so, so wish me luck. I don't think I'll have a lot of trouble, but I absolutely must get in this deadline for this fall, or it will take me an entire year longer because of the way the classes fall. Ugh. It's nerve wracking.

Anyway, I will, by the grace of God and every single thing working out, be an RN in two years.

The next time you see me, I will be wearing scrubs. Or at least, I better be.

Confession: Semi-Good News

I have an interview today for a supply teacher (long-term substitute) position at a local high school teaching Physical Science. I am probably going to be super depressed when I don't get this position because a) I need good news, b) I need a reason to get up and get dressed everyday, and c) I'm the biggest math and science nerd EVER, and I happen to love the material taught in this class.

The position is temporary, immediately to April 13th, so it isn't very long. However, the Assistant Principal said there is a possibility of it extending to the end of the school year.

I really want this, so please wish me luck and say a prayer for me, if you do that sort of thing. Thanks.

Joann Fabric Store

I am normally used to people acting like complete assholes in retail. It doesn't get to me. I went into the Joann here on Friday and got a bunch of fabric, and the guy who helped me was awesome. I was so impressed! I went back today to get more stuff--we're talking lots of stuff (I've dropped $200 there already). I was completely disappointed and disgusted.

"Christine", or so her name tag says, was a complete bitch. She made sure she didn't give me a millimeter extra of fabric (most places give you a little over the yard), and she just had a complete attitude. I asked her to cut a piece of fabric into two two-yard sections so it would be easier for me (I can't cut straight, and they have those little slots on their counters, which is so awesome). She copped a total attitude, and she was like "I'm not supposed to do that". Um, do what? Make an extra cut? That took you all of what? Two seconds?

Bitch.

Total worthless, waste of air bitch.

It really pissed me off.

And, THEN, that woman had the audacity to ask me if I had scissors. No, bitch, I don't have any scissors. I cut the fabric with my teeth. Would you like me to demonstrate on you?

Seriously.

I started to ask for a manager, and I thought, no, I should probably cool down. I'm still not cool. I just can't believe people like that can get a job, and I can't. I mean, I would never say something like that to a customer. It's insane.

Ugh. Completely and utterly disgusted...

Word Verification

Am I the only one who is having trouble getting the word verification to load on blogger? I'm getting pretty sick of it. I can't leave anyone comments. If you use it, please consider taking it off. If you have your comments moderated, you don't need it anyway. Thanks.

Appreciating the Smaller Things

We were having withdrawals of pretty much everything fun yesterday. So, we went to the local indoor pool in the morning to play in our scuba gear. It's a cheap (free because the instructors were there doing a class) and easy way to get our scuba fix when it's freezing outside and we have no money. Then, in the afternoon, we decided to go to a friend's pasture to shoot some guns. Mine kept jamming. I swear I cleaned it the last time I shot the damn thing, but it just wouldn't feed right. And, don't say it was me because Travis has the same gun and I shot his perfectly with the same ammo. So, there. While we were there, we walked around the creek some. I sunk about a half a foot into the swampy stuff and soaked my boots--but my socks stayed dry. That always makes you happy! It was really beautiful out there, that's about all I can say. Anyway, I looked up into the country sky, which was amazing by the way, and I saw this

I know. It was the coolest thing to see. It reminds me to appreciate the simple and smaller things in life. Yesterday was a good day. A very, very good day.

FYI: Whoring Myself Out: Knotted Niceties

I have a new blog. No, this one isn't going anywhere. (I know, you were about to breathe a sigh of relief, weren't you?!) I'll still pitch fits on here on a regular basis. Hell, it's cheaper than therapy. Anywho, that blog, it's for my blankets. I make those cute little knotted fleece throws. Please buy one. I'm broke and jobless. And not above whoring myself out shamelessly like this. LOL.

Please visit Knotted Niceties!

Confession: I Hate Dogmar Midcrap

Dagmar Midcap aka Dogmar Midcrap is the stupid bitch of a weather girl on the local CBS affiliate. And, I hate her. She's a complete idiot. We are having a massive amount of tornadoes in Georgia right now. This moron called Monticello "montechello--like the instrument. I mean, really. You work in Georgia. Learn how to say the names of the God damned cities. I can't help it you're a Canadian. It's not Dackula. It's not like Dracula. It's Daquela. It's not Winder, like the southern folk call windows. It is Winder, as it wind it up. OMG!

More Good News: Atlanta Third Emptiest City

In terms of housing and rental units. According to AJC.com, Atlanta trails only Detroit (2nd) and Las Vegas in the list of the emptiest cities in America. Basically, it means people are either a) getting the heck out of Dodge, or b) homeless. I'm not too upset about option a), but b) is a tad bit on the disconcerting side. The article goes on to say that

"The Southeast — long one of the nation’s economic hot spots — fared poorly in the compilation.

Joining Atlanta among the 15 'emptiest cities' are Greensboro/High Point, N.C., at no. 4; Orlando at no. 7; Jacksonville, Fla. at no. 9; Miami/Ft. Lauderdale at no. 11; Tampa/St. Petersburg/Clearwater at no. 13; and Charlotte/Gastonia/Concord at no. 15."

Awesome.

Obama Signed the Pork Stimulus Bill

Now, where is my fucking job?

You Call that a Bark?

Travis and I were playing with our heathen last night, and she started making this noise. And, I thought I was killing her. But, then, we realized she was barking at us. You tell me if you call that a bark. Regardless, it's about as cute as I can stand without actually eating her.

Obviously, we are teaching her "get'em". Don't judge us.

What's Wrong with this Picture?

This is my 19 year old brother. (Cute, ain't he? He gets it honest.) Mom took us out to sushi while we were home this weekend. I know, it was a pathetic Valentine's--we have no extra money to spend. Although, I did pitch a fit like a 6 year old for Madagascar 2, which I got. Anywho, please look at that picture, and tell me what is wrong with it. Feel free to click to open it full size. No, it is not that he is on his phone while having dinner with the family. It's much worse. Give up? Please see the picture below.

Yes, that is my adult brother using the children's chopsticks. I love embarrassing the kid. Bless his heart. At least they gave him the ones that blend in with the chopsticks instead of the bright red ones. Although, that would be much funnier. Much funnier. Please feel free to click to see it full size--and fully appreciate his uncoordinated ass.

You've Got to be Kidding: Pepsi Co caused Tooth Decay

Good Morning America did a special (yesterday from what I can gather, I just flipped it on this morning, and it was being revisited) titled "Hidden America: Children of the Moutains--Taking on Tooth Decay". They revisited it today--you know, to force it down your throat a little more. They make a huge point of blaming Mountain Dew for the rampant tooth decay and tooth loss.

Bull fucking shit.

It's because those damn hillbillies don't brush their teeth! I'm sorry, but when I was a kid (around middle to high school) I was completely addicted to Mountain Dew. Yes, addicted. For years. I was absolutely pressed to the max in sports and activities, and I guess it just ramped me up. Plus, that shit tastes GOOD. Do you know how many teeth I have? 28 (no wisdom teeth, not that I've lost 4). Do you know how many cavities (fillings, not actual cavitites) I have? 1. Do you know why? Because I go to the God damned dentist twice a year, brush my teeth, floss when I fucking feel like it, and rinse with Listerine.

And, don't go thanking the flouride laced water. I lived off a well. We are no different than those Mountain folk.

It pisses me the hell off that these cunts at Good Morning America feel there is a need to blame Pepsi Cola for poor dietary and dental habits (even if they are Obama loving whores). It's unbelievable. That's like blaming McDonald's for being fat. Although, that has happened. I'm sure Pepsi will get sued over this. Bunch of coniving bastards.

To Whomever is Stalking Me from Commerce, GA

Yes, I see you creeping on my page. No, I don't know who you are, but I know you're cyber stalking my blog. You may or may not live in Commerce, but you live nearby, and you use Windstream. You also use Windows XP, which probably means you aren't up on the newest and greatest, since you don't have Vista. You also use Firefox, instead of Internet Explorer, which means you have at least half a brain. Anyway, I know you're there. You know who you are. Please come forward with your identity. I won't chastise you for stalking me. I like it. I'm kinky like that. I just want to know who it is back home that thinks they must slink around on here without showing his or her face. I'm just sayin'.

FYI: I'm One of those Shitty Husbands

I forgot my own anniversary! My blog anniversary that is. I've been at this a year now (since Feb 6th). I hope you like it. It is funny. I think I've gained more follower people since I quit ranting and raving about politics. Which makes no sense. Because who the hell wants to hear about me? LOL I know! Anywho, I just want you to know that I haven't read MSN News, AOL News, Yahoo News, Fox News, or any of the like in the past three weeks. And I like it. I am completely out of the loop except for what I learn from your so biased opinions (not a bad thing!). I guess I'll get back to my old ways some day. I hope you stick with me another year to see for yourself. Love you guys!

Top Dogs Pet Boutique

I am in love with my newest pet find. Top Dogs Pet Boutique in Kennesaw is awesome. They have a huge selection of nutritious and natural foods, amazing treats, clothes, toys, leashes and collars, beds, strollers, and everything else you can imagine for doggies. I only feed my baby natural foods made in the USA. They have everything from Canidae to Solid Gold to Holistic Select. They even have free samples so you can see if your baby likes it before you drop a ton of cash on expensive food. The service was great, and they showered my baby with treats and affection. I can't wait to go back and try some of the treats. They looked amazing (see left). They also have a location in Roswell, but I don't know if the people there are as great. I am very impressed with them so far, and I will be using them again soon.

Cute Overload

Yes, I know you are tired of hearing about my dog. I know, you signed up for ranting, raving, lunatic Linz, but she's just kind of busy and not feeling that shit lately. So, more dog it is. As if you couldn't use more cuteness in your day. Please tell me you can't help but say "aww" when you see this:

Pick a Kibble, Drama Queen

Essie has become quite a drama queen. She has figured out that she can cry and jump into my arms. It's pathetic.

So, I went yesterday to get some food samples, which you can see below, and I came across this adorable shirt. Can you read it? It says "Drama Queen". Because she totally is. Actually, she's really kind of bitchy. Which, I guess, is sort of fitting, considering she is a bitch. But, anyway, the second from the left is actually made out of Bison. And, she doesn't want to have shit to do with it. She will eat the one on the left--the most expensive one. Naturally. Little spoiled rotten brat. Me and God love her. Oh, and Travis, too.

Like Brother, Like Sister

More proof she is her brother's sister:

Spoiled Much?

Essie, spoiled? No. She has found her place in our home. And her spot to lay. Little shit.

I Have a Confession to Make: I Swear I Didn't Know

My name is Linz, and I like the Rolling Stones and the Beatles.

I know.

Travis dumped all of his songs to my PC last night so I could steal all the ones I like. And, I was going through them, and I got to a bunch of Rolling Stones songs, and I recognized them. And, I liked them. OMG. Then, I got to a bunch of Beatles songs, and I recognized those. And, I liked them, too! I don't know what's going on. I've loved these songs my entire life thanks to my dad (who may or may not be that generation, since he is only 47, but he listened to all this stuff when I was growing up), and I never knew that was who sang them.

Oh, well. I hope that doesn't make me too much of a hippie to blast Obama on a daily basis. It doesn't make me a hippie, does it? Right? Right?! Damn.

Moral of the Story: Unemployment is a Joke

I'm feeling like ranting a little, and, since I got screwed by my lying company, I am dealing with the Department of Labor first hand. And, I have to tell you, and I don't want to sugar coat it for you, kids, they suck big donkey dick.

First, the maximum weekly benefit is $330 before taxes (we'll come back to that). I made three times that a week. Yeah, THREE TIMES. I can hardly live off $330 per week for gas and groceries alone! $330 per week is just enough to pay for my non-living expense bills. By non-living expense, I mean my car payment, car insurance, credit cards, and student loans. I am not even counting gas and groceries and miscellaneous expenses. And, I'm not counting any living expenses--meaning rent and utilities. Without Travis, I would have no food or gas or dry-cleaning, or new clothes (necessary new clothes, like for interviews, not wants), or whatever else. And, I sure as hell can't afford to rent any more. I'll be moving back home. Pathetic. Not to mention a burden for my dad.

Second, you have to pay taxes on unemployment benefits. Is it just me, or is that a little ridiculous? I mean, it isn't like we're working. I should have known better, though. They made me pay taxes on my scholarships in college. On scholarships. Ugh.

Third, the unemployment rate is astronomical, I get that. But, it is really that hard to staff these agencies? Hell, put some of the unemployed in there! I called yesterday because it said my PIN was locked out, and I could not log on to claim weekly benefits. It took me 30 minutes to get an answer. She said someone would have to call me back. They never did. I called back this morning. After 30 minutes of trying, I still hadn't gotten an answer. Finally, later today, I got someone. When she looked up my account, she could not find it. She could not find it. I applied two weeks ago. That is distressing. I can only hope it will be in the system by Friday when I have to certify. Not counting on it. I'm getting screwed here. I can just feel it.

I know the State is broke just like everyone else, but something has got to change. I'm not looking for a God damned handout either, Clay. I would just like to not lose my home. I would like to not ruin my credit that I've worked really hard to establish. I would like to get a fucking job doing something besides cleaning toilets. I have done my time. I've gotten my degree. I've worked the crap jobs. I don't think it's asking too much to get a decent one. I don't need a huge salary--hell, I'll take a pay cut. I'll move if I have to. I'm not asking for a bailout. I'm asking for some fucking help. H. E. L. P. Help. Now.

Essie Meets Mommy

I know you guys don't really need to see 14 pictures of my new baby, but I do. And, this makes it much easier when my forty seven family members say, "Send me some pictures!" Because, that would take all day.

As you can see in the first photo, she clearly takes after her big brother in letting that tongue hang out! Enjoy the pictures (click for larger).

Ragged Top

Road trips are always fun. You never know what you will see on the interstate. You should always keep a camera with you. Case in point, the picture above. Mr. I'm-showing-off-in-my-WHOREVette-with-my-vanity-tag-"1RAGTOP".

Actually, the tag is somewhat correct. I'd say it's more of a "ragged top" considering there is no glass (or whatever material it would be) in the back window.

LOL. Now, that's funny right there. I don't care who you are!