Daddy's Girl

If you can't see her pathetic little ass, click the picture for larger view. It's like "Where's Waldo?" with a little shit head chihuahua. Oh, and her daddy is being pretty worthless, too, as you can see. It's a wonder the house is as together as it is...

You Call that a Bark?

Travis and I were playing with our heathen last night, and she started making this noise. And, I thought I was killing her. But, then, we realized she was barking at us. You tell me if you call that a bark. Regardless, it's about as cute as I can stand without actually eating her.

Obviously, we are teaching her "get'em". Don't judge us.

Cute Overload

Yes, I know you are tired of hearing about my dog. I know, you signed up for ranting, raving, lunatic Linz, but she's just kind of busy and not feeling that shit lately. So, more dog it is. As if you couldn't use more cuteness in your day. Please tell me you can't help but say "aww" when you see this:

Pick a Kibble, Drama Queen

Essie has become quite a drama queen. She has figured out that she can cry and jump into my arms. It's pathetic.

So, I went yesterday to get some food samples, which you can see below, and I came across this adorable shirt. Can you read it? It says "Drama Queen". Because she totally is. Actually, she's really kind of bitchy. Which, I guess, is sort of fitting, considering she is a bitch. But, anyway, the second from the left is actually made out of Bison. And, she doesn't want to have shit to do with it. She will eat the one on the left--the most expensive one. Naturally. Little spoiled rotten brat. Me and God love her. Oh, and Travis, too.

Like Brother, Like Sister

More proof she is her brother's sister:

Spoiled Much?

Essie, spoiled? No. She has found her place in our home. And her spot to lay. Little shit.

Essie Meets Mommy

I know you guys don't really need to see 14 pictures of my new baby, but I do. And, this makes it much easier when my forty seven family members say, "Send me some pictures!" Because, that would take all day.

As you can see in the first photo, she clearly takes after her big brother in letting that tongue hang out! Enjoy the pictures (click for larger).

You've Got to be Kidding: Dog Toy Foot

So, here I am at Petsmart looking for Essie a dog bed, some toys, and pet stain remover (puppies are going to have accidents, it is just a fact of life), and I come across this. A fucking foot. What the hell? I mean, what sick bastard thinks it is funny for dogs to run around chewing on human feet? That's just plain creepy. It isn't even Halloween! And, the toes are painted, so it's a woman's foot. And, not a very pretty woman's foot, at that. I file this under weird-shit-o-meter off the scale.

PS Please forgive me for not being the ranting, raving lunatic I usually am. I just don't have it in me yet. I'll get the fight back in me. I promise. Please just bear with me, and give me a little time. Thanks.

Meet Miss Esperanza Patron

I would like to introduce you to Miss Esperanza Patron. Esperanza is the Spanish word for "Hope". I hope she can provide us with some hope. She is the half sister to the late Pepe Patron. She is similar in color to Mr. Pepe, but she is what they call "blue" instead of black like he was. Blue is sort of a gray color. She is a very pretty little girl. She is about to turn 12 weeks old (Saturday). She currently weighs 1 lb 10 & 3/4 oz, and she should be in the mid to upper 4 lb range at full adulthood.

We are going to pick her up this Sunday from the lady who gave me my Pepe, Judy. She is a wonderful, caring breeder. I emailed her last night, and she called me within the hour to check on me and help me find a new baby. She is not a typical puppy mill breeder, and she is very good. You can find her at chihuahuamagic.com.

Please go see her if you ever want a darling, sweet, little chihuahua baby. I can assure you her babies will make believers out of you. Pepe was no "typical" chihuahua. He was sweet, playful, protective, and smart. He wasn't a yapper, and he wasn't a shaker. He loved curling up with you under the covers, and he loved to run around the house playing chase with you and his toys. And, he always won. Pepe won more than chases. He won over the hearts of so many people who thought small dogs were little assholes. I don't know of many eyes that were dry when they heard the news.

Anyway, Judy said that Esperanza is a little shy, but she loves to be held and picked up. I can't wait to meet her. I hope that she can make us feel better. She can never replace Pepe, but she can lick me and make me feel better. I need something to come home to everyday that will make me feel important and loved--no matter what. A human just can't provide truly 100% unconditional love like a puppy. I look so forward to the joy she will bring us in this stressful time. I know it is stupid to buy another dog right now, but we are all down enough without this. If you don't love your babies like your children, you can't understand.

I hope I'll be feeling more like writing now. All this hope is a lot of pressure on such a little bitty girl. She has some big shoes to fill.