Welcome Back to 1965

I like it. I think it would be a simpler and better time if it were 1965 instead of 2009. I think I have about as much money now as I would have in 1965, but I'd be rich as hell in that case. Yeah.

That's Mrs. Bitch to You!

We're Married!

It went amazingly well. Everything was perfect. Even if there probably was some spit in my cake...

PUT FUCKING COLUMNS ON MY CAKE!

I ordered this cake:

With the top two layers. As in, from the line UP. As in, with FUCKING COLUMNS.

I got this cake:

Um, no FUCKING COLUMNS.

They have until 5PM.

UPDATE: It was ready at 3.

[Insert Expletive Here]

I am fucking over this wedding. I definitely am wishing for the courthouse right about now. I'm just fucking sick of this shit, and we'll be lucky if we make it through it. Just damn.

FYI: Points of Interest

First of all, I want to apologize for being MIA lately. I would make a POW joke here, but that's something you just don't joke about. I've been very busy and stressed. I have compiled a bulleted list of items that may be of interest to those of you who actually read my blog and give two shits.

• I am getting married April 24th.
• I am moving the following weekend. Kill. Me. Now.
• I am starting a supply teaching (long term substitute) position Wednesday. It will go until June 5th.
• I start summer classes for nursing June 8th--the Monday after I finish teaching on Friday.
• I am going to have a stroke/heart attack/nervous breakdown. Actually, I sort of had one already in the unemployment office today, but I'll make a whole post about that because it is just so damn pathetic and typical.
• I have been trying to at least skim the blogs I really care about, like Monkeydarts, Conservative Women, Conservative Wisdom (when Clay is not completely unreasonable and unrealistically hard headed--no offense), etc, etc. If I didn't list you, it doesn't mean I don't love you, so don't have a fit and delete me like we're in 5th grade.
• I have been leaving limited comments, but I am trying.
• I have been posting very infrequently, and I'm sorry. I just don't have enough hours.
• I miss ya'll, and I appreciate the patience. It really makes my day when you leave me comments. I'm sorry I can't return the favor as much as I should.
• I am going to go pass out now.

You've Got to be Kidding: City Limit Fail

So, I go to pay for my reception hall for the wedding, and I am all excited. See, if you live in the city limits, you get the smaller room for $17 an hour. For 3 hours, that's only about $50. That's cheap as hell. Now, if you don't live in the city limits, it is TWICE that, at $35 an hour, or $105 for three hours. Guess which I get to pay. Yeah, the $35 an hour. Why? Because my house sits in a tiny anomaly of outside the city limits completely surrounded by city limits. Awesome.

Reception Hall Directions

I am feeling like the cutesy wootsy artsy fartsy type. I know. Scary.

Anywho, I had a really cute idea for the wedding, and I want to share it with all the other stressed brides out there. If I can help, I always want to.

This is a bubble tube with directions to the reception hall attached. It is really simple and inexpensive--and very cute, as you can see! The pack of bubble tubes is $7 for 36 at Michaels. The business cards are $7 for 250 at Office Max, and the ribbon is $.50 per 10 yard roll at Michaels. I also bought a heart shaped (gah, the cuteness!), single hole punch (1/4") for $6 at Office Max. My total invested for 72 is about $30. You can't beat that with a stick.

Assembly is very easy, once you get your business cards printed. Be patient, the template never prints exactly right, and you WILL have to try again and again. I recommend printing on your fastest and lightest setting until you get it right (think draft mode), and use plain paper until you can make it line up. You will have to repeat the process for the back because the paper is flipped over and WILL be different. Once you have the cards done, simply break apart (yay for perforations!) and assemble. I recommend a 6" length of 1/4" ribbon. I did white, but you can use your wedding color, as well, and it will be very pretty. Punch a hole in one corner, being sure to stay away from text and the edge. Run the ribbon through both the bubble tube top and the business card. Tie in a knot that is loose (as in not stuck to the top of the bubbles so the card flips easily).

And, you're done. Only 71 to go. LOL.

Little Help?

I need a first dance song with my new husband and my dad. As in, I need you to help me pick one. As in, please give me ideas because I have no fucking clue. Please. Seriously. I'm not kidding. Talk amongst yourselves.

FYI: I'M GETTING MARRIED!

That is all.

Carry on.