Burger King of Idiots, US41, Acworth, GA

So, here's I is...I been wantin' (pinin' for) a Burger King apple pie for, like, two days. I get myself an appetite worked up swimming (in case you aren't in Georgia, it's only 100 degrees). I get out of the pool, drive all the way to Burger King--they aren't exactly all that common, really--and place my order for a whopper JR (no cheese, no onions), a large frozen coke, and an apple pie (well, duh!). What about this looks anything like an apple fucking pie?.

Go ahead and right click and select "Open Link in New Tab" if you can't tell. Because the answer is NOTHING. And Samedesh, yes literally, can't blame my fucking accent or the speaker because the shit was broken, and I was ordering AT THE WINDOW. Really. You can't make this shit up! And, to add insult to injury they give you this ketchup-sized packet of caramel. What the fuck am I supposed to do with that?! At least give me a little cup of the "low fat" caramel so I can dip my apple sticks in it. I mean, does that crazy bitch really think my fat ass is gonna order a whopper, frozen coke, and apples?! It's like ordering a whopper, large fries, and a diet coke. Damn. Just damn.

THE Varsity

The good ol' greasy V. The best place ever. Now, apparently, they have these things all over the place. I thought they were just in Atlanta and Athens--as in, only 2 of them. Not so much. But, I will say that the original is like no other. The constant calls of "Whaddaya have?" fill the air with something truly special. I've been to the one in Athens a few dozen times, and I have to say, it just can't compare to downtown. I had the best hotdog of my life yesterday. And, it was a hotdog. Can you say, "Nasty!"? The onion rings were as greasy as humanly possible, but delicious nonetheless. I will admit I was sick all afternoon because I never eat really greasy, nasty food like that. But, it was worth it. We'll overlook the fact that the downtown Varsity is in Tech Country (or City, really).

Pizza Hut

Last night, I placed an order for Pizza Hut pizza online at 3:13PM to be picked up at 6:30PM. At 6:35PM, I arrived at the store, and they told me it would be a few more minutes.

Heh. OK.

At 7:00PM, my pizza was not ready. It was 35 minutes late. And they had the order over 3 hours ahead of its due time.

When I asked what the problem was, no one could answer me. I saw dozens of people come and go with delivery orders and other pick up orders. Mine sat unfinished.

It does not take 35 minutes to cook a pizza. I have called in orders that were ready in 15 minutes. Now, if that pizza had been put on when I got there--even if they had somehow missed it--it would have been ready about 6:50. It was not. That is about the worst customer service I have ever encountered.

Pizza Hut has lost my business. Stuffed crust or not, I will never go back. I do not take this sort of thing lightly. I wasn't even offered a refund. I was told a $15 credit would go on my account (I doubt it will). Great. That is so helpful since I'm NEVER COMING BACK.

Thanks, Pizza Hut, for giving me a blog post. And, absolutely nothing else.

Maggiano's Little Italy

The other day, my Mom brought my Granny down to see me. Grandma doesn't do all that great some days, so it was really good that she came out here and back with no issues. She got her walker and just zipped right along. Anyway, Mom's husband and my sister came with them, and Travis met us all at Maggiano's Little Italy at Cumberland. There aren't many of these restaurants around here. There are only three in the entire state, apparently. And, I don't think there are many in other states, either. Heck, a lot of states don't have any. So, I thought I'd do a review on the place in case anyone wanted to make a special trip to try one. Here goes:

We had fried mozzarella and stuffed mushrooms for appetizers. The cheese was AWESOME. I loved it. I don't like mushrooms, but I tried a little of the stuffing in them. I thought it was OK. Mom and her husband loved them. And, the servings are enormous. The mushrooms aren't like little baby portobellos. They are about three inches wide. And, they bring you about 10 of them. It's a lot of food. Mom and Granny got side salads. I tried some of Mom's with the vinaigrette dressing. It was very good. I got the spinach salad. Terrible. Ugh. I hated it.

Grandma and mom got the lasagna. It was huge. A good 6in x 4in x 4in block. I tasted a little of my Mom's, and it seemed kind of sausagey. I don't like that. She liked it though, and Granny ate the shit out of hers.

Travis has the chicken marsala. It had THREE chicken breasts, but no sides. I thought that was odd. Even Olive Garden gives you some potatoes or something. Again, too much food to eat, though.

My Sis got spaghetti and meatballs. She got the half serving. E. Nor. Mous. The half serving is a normal serving at a normal restaurant. She didn't really say if she liked it or not, but she took her left-overs, so it couldn't have been too bad.

Mom's husband and I had the fettuccine alfredo. He had chicken. I did not. I got the half order. He did not. (And, this little piggie went wee wee wee all the way home...I mean, um, nevermind...) The regular sized bowl was about a five gallon bucket. And, I swear to God I am NOT exaggerating. Swear. To. God. It was ridiculous. It took three to-go boxes to get his left-overs wrapped up. It was pretty good, but I felt like there wasn't enough sauce.

All in all, my verdict is it is over-priced. Sure, they give you enough for six people to eat for four days, but it really wasn't all that good. I think I'll stick with Olive Garden.

Fudpucker's

We ate at Fudpucker's in Fort Walton Beach, Florida, twice in the 24 hours we were there! In our defense, it was right across the street from out hotel. I had the Mother Fudburger and the Fruit and Nut Salad with chicken. Travis had the Mushroom Swiss Fudburger both times. He must have liked it. I liked my burger, but I got it without their "special sauce", so I don't know how that would have been. The salad was delicious. The raspberry vinaigrette was the best! We loved the atmosphere. It's so cool that you can write on the tables and chairs and walls and lights and ceilings and, well, everything! We didn't bring a sharpie, though, so make sure you remember yours if you go to Fudpucker's!

4C BBQ

While we were diving at Vortex, we went to this little Mom'n'Pop Barbecue place--4C BBQ. It was great. Travis and I both got the barbecue pork sandwich with baked beans and fries. It was delicious. I also got a HANDMADE peanut butter milkshake. It was to die for. If you're ever in the middle of nowhere in Florida, you HAVE to go to 4C!

And, get a milkshake!

On the counter.

Cute papertowel holders.

Cowboy leg tables. Creepy!

That old timey feel.

On the wall.

On the wall.

The Cannon Brewpub

The Cannon Brewpub is located in Columbus, GA, in the downtown square area. The city has done some major work in making the area very nice. It is very walkable (pedestrian friendly), and there is plenty of free parking (two hour limits). There are several restaurants and shops (and even a few bars, it looked like). The Cannon Brewpub is one of those restaurants. The inside has a very antique feel. It is very cool. I stole a couple pictures off their website, but this is really what it looks like:

You can find a menu here. I had the "Jim's Spinach and Artichoke" Dip. It was very, very good! I also had the "Chuck's Spinach Salad". It wasn't really what I expected, but it was pretty good. Let me warn you that when they say "spiced pecans", they mean spicy pecans. It is a cool atmosphere with pretty good food.

Verdict: Try it if you're ever in Columbus. Let me know what you get, and tell me how delicious it is!

One Eyed Lizzy's

Tonight, I went to One Eyed Lizzy's in Savannah, GA for dinner. I had the nachos and my date had the chicken fingers. We had the cutest, sweetest waitress. Her name was Laura. If you ever go, ask for her. She works two jobs--she's making something for herself. That's really cool to me. But anyway, the food was great! My nachos were never-ending, and the fries and honey mustard were super. I do love fries dipped in honey mustard--especially when they are good. LOL! The atmosphere is pretty cool. It's got a great bar area...and great drinks. I had a Patron Watermelon Margarita. It was delicious, and I was drunk. They certainly don't skimp on the booze! There were lots of things on the walls in Spanish. I don't really know if it is supposed to be kind of Spanish-themed, but they had lots of food options. It's a great place to go if you have several picky eaters who all want something different. And you want some good drinks... Verdict: definitely, yes--for a good and easy-going dinner.

Seasons of Japan

I went to the Seasons of Japan in Savannah, GA tonight for dinner. The sign looked kind of shady, as you can see, but it was amazing on the inside! I took a picture of my dinner for you, so you can see how cute it was.

They had the little white tea pot thingies for the soy sauce. I had the Shogun Roll, the California Roll, and the Snow Crab Nigiri. The Shogun Roll had tuna, crab, avocado, and cream cheese. It was awesome! The sweet tea was even good, something I don't expect at a sushi place.

My date had a cooked dinner, because he's a wuss, and it was also delicious. He had a steak and shrimp dinner with steamed vegetables and fried rice. It came with a complimentary appetizer that consisted of a spring roll and a ginger dressing-topped salad. The spring roll was probably the best I've ever had, and the ginger dressing was definitely the best! It also came with a yellow sauce they called the "shrimp sauce", but I would have eaten it on everything they had it was so good.

The atmosphere was very cool. The seats were festive, and the table settings were very nice. Don't let the sign fool you, it is not a shit hole! And it was not very expensive. Our bill was under $40 before the tip. That's pretty good for sushi, if you ask me. I say, if you are in Savannah, and you like sushi, go there!

The Oyster Bar

Tonight I had dinner at The Oyster Bar in Savannah, GA. I can't find a website, so if you find one, let me know. I don't eat seafood, so this review is sort of limited, but I was with people who had seafood, and they said it was good. I had the fillet, with a baked potato and a caesar salad. It was very good. So, if you have someone who doesn't eat seafood going with you, they will have a nice dinner, too. Two of the people who went with me had some pasta with shrimp in it, which they said was amazing. I guess it was since they all but licked their plates. My date had calamari. It was fried and served with fries. He said it tasted like shrimp. It seemed like he wasn't all that impressed, but maybe he just didn't like calamari. The atmosphere was pretty cool. At least there were plenty of things to look at on the walls. I guess the verdict is "give it a try". If you like seafood, you're probably going to find something you like.

Five Guys

I've been to Five Guys several times now, and I've never had a bad experience, so I thought they deserved this review. I've been to both the one in Kennesaw, GA and the one in Acworth, GA, and I loved them both. For me to say I like a burger is a pretty big deal. I'm not really a burger eater. I'm NOT a vegetarian, and I love meat, but I'm particular about it. My cousin owns a burger place back home that I love, and Five Guys comes pretty close. It is about as close to a mom-n-pop joint as you can get out of a chain. They are just what they say they are: burgers and fries. And there really isn't much else to them. They have peanuts in open containers all over the place, so if you're really allergic, don't go in, but if you like peanuts, go get a handful while you stand in line to place your order or while you're waiting on them to make your burger to order.

Mary Mac's Tea Room

We went to Mary Mac's tonight. It was awesome. I don't particularly like pot likker, but the rest was great. It is true southern cooking like grandma used to make. Every first-timer gets a sample of their pot likker, then you fill out your own order card. It's the tradition that makes it great, like the filling out your own card. You can read the history here. There were so many sides to choose from, I decided to have the Vegetable Plate (four sides). I had the fried okra, spiced apples, cream corn, and cheese grits. And they were all great. The breads they bring out are very good, too. They give you yeast rolls, cornbread, and cinnamon rolls. I was already tight like a tick, but I had some Georgia Peach cobbler for dessert--it is a Georgia thang--and it's awesome! Oh, and I had lemonade, too, and it is so sweet, I'm surprised I didn't turn into molasses. The parking is minimal since it is in downtown Atlanta, but other than that, it is perfect southern tradition at it's finest. Go try it!

Hard Rock Cafe--Dirty South

We went to a party tonight sponsored by Tnemec at the Hard Rock Cafe in Atlanta, aka Hotlanta, aka the Dirty South. They had reserved the Velvet Underground Room for the private party. The food was great. There was served roast beef, chicken, a martini-glass mashed potato bar, lots of finger foods, and, oh yeah, free drinks! I had this thing called a Kahlua Colada. It was like a chocolate coconut with a hint of pineapple. It sounds crazy, but it was pretty amazing. And I certainly can't forget to mention the awesome white chocolate and milk chocolate fondue fountains with strawberries, pound cake, marshmallows, chocolate chip cookies, brownies, and all kinds of other stuff I can't even remember. It was no Melting Pot, but it was pretty freakin' good. It was really hot in there, and the guy playing music made it too loud to talk, but if you get invited to a party there, you should go. If for nothing else but the free drinks...

Flaming Turtle!

As I mentioned before Travis and I celebrated our anniversary at The Melting Pot in Kennesaw, GA. Neither of us had ever been to a Melting Pot before. The pricing is about $50/person for four courses: cheese fondue, salad, entree fondue, and dessert fondue, not including alcoholic beverages, but including tip. And, honestly, it was totally worth it. I didn't think it would be--I was totally prepared for a big let down. But I was wrong. Totally wrong. We opted to go the design-your-own route instead of going with their seasonal package. We stared off with a couple drinks. Travis picked the usual Corona Extra ($3.75 each), and I tried the Chocolate Fontini ($9 each), which was so good I had to have two. We then had the Cheddar Cheese Fondue to start--it is served for two--which had three kinds of bread, Granny Smith apples, and cauliflower, celery, and carrots for dipping. Next, I had the California Salad, and he had the Caesar Salad--the California is awesome! We then had the Signature Selection--again served for two--which had steak, chicken, salmon, and shrimp served with red potatoes, broccoli, mushroom caps, and squash. We chose the Mojo cooking fondue for the Signature Selection. The price for the Signature Selection is $54, which includes cheese fondue and the salads. The Mojo was $6 extra. We also added a dessert fondue ($15, served for two). We chose the Flaming Turtle because I wanted to see some shit lit on fire! It had chocolate, caramel, and nuts, and it was great! They gave us strawberries, bananas, cheesecake, brownies, pound cake, rice crispy treats, and two types of decorated marshmallows for dipping. The cheesecake was garnished with a cherry, and I made the waiter, Brandon, blush when I tied it in a knot with my tongue. Hey, my tongue is amazing, what can I say? (That blush didn't even compare to the one I got out of him when he asked what we were doing after dinner for our anniversary celebration. I told him he didn't want to know...poor kid.) After all was said and done, we had a bill of $107.07, and we left the poor kid a tip of $27.92 for a rounded total of $135 for the evening. I say that isn't bad for what we got. We were definitely full and about to explode, but we were there for over two hours, so it was spread out. It's pretty cool that you have to cook your meats there two at a time in the fondue. It makes you savor everything. It makes you stop and smell the roses. It was a great experience that I recommend to everyone. We are not really the type that can afford $135 dinners every weekend, but it was totally worth it for this great occasion. I can only hope that we have many many more of these such nights.

There is a picture of us at the restaurant below. When I made the reservation (which you MUST do if you hope to eat before 9:30 PM), I asked for private seating. This place was perfect. We got a little rounded booth for two so we could sit side by side. It was truly amazing!