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Showing posts with label gotta be kidding. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gotta be kidding. Show all posts

You've Got to be Kidding: Only in Jackson County...

...does stealing some chicken make headlining news.

"Apparently, a suspect really likes chicken — to the point of stealing, according to the Braselton Police Department.

"A tractor-trailer truck driver told police that he parked his vehicle at the Pilot Travel Center on Ga. Hwy. 53. Sometime after midnight, a suspect entered his sealed trailer and took several boxes of chicken, according to an incident report.

"The stolen boxes were valued at $1,300."

This just made me cluck and cluck laugh and laugh! Must be a slow news day. Oh, wait, that's everyday in Podunk, Georgia.

You've Got to be Kidding: Firing English Speaking FFs

Someone sent this to me in an email. I don't know if it is legitimate, but I'll be damned if it is. This is unfuckingbelievable. Why did they hire them in the first place?! I'm sure there are plenty of English speaking firefighters out of work right now that would love the job. You don't hire someone when you have to fire someone else for it. This is a fucking outrage. Call your congressmen.


You've Got to be Kidding: James Otto is a Tit Man

So, I thought I was a fan of James Otto, but I may not be now.

This past Friday, a friend of mine (well, he's Travis' friend, but he's cool) went to see James Otto at Cowboys in Kennesaw. He was with some chick he's banging, and she wanted Otto's autograph. She went up to him to ask him to sign her ticket stub, and he was like, "Yeah, well, I sigh other stuff, too."

To which she is like, "Uh, do you mean my boobs?"

And, he's all like "Uh, yeah. Let me see 'em."

And, she's all like, "Uh, no. I'm not letting you see my tits."

Jesus. Doesn't that asshole know it is Easter?

You've Got to be Kidding: City Limit Fail


So, I go to pay for my reception hall for the wedding, and I am all excited. See, if you live in the city limits, you get the smaller room for $17 an hour. For 3 hours, that's only about $50. That's cheap as hell. Now, if you don't live in the city limits, it is TWICE that, at $35 an hour, or $105 for three hours. Guess which I get to pay. Yeah, the $35 an hour. Why? Because my house sits in a tiny anomaly of outside the city limits completely surrounded by city limits. Awesome.

You've Got to be Kidding: Typing Illiteracy

Is it really possible in the year 2009 that anyone below the age of 30 cannot touch-type?

Well, it shouldn't be.

Everyone in the past 10 years has been required to take a typing class in school (at least in Georgia). I started in 6th grade. 6th grade, kids. And, while I am an exception to the norm because my dad was a programmer, and we had computers my entire life (ie, in the 80's!), I can't grasp the fact that anyone in my generation cannot at least type a little. I mean, you should not have to look around the keyboard to find a letter. Really.

I know this is totally random, but the girl at my tanning salon is a hunt and pecker of the worst persuasion. And, she can't be 30. She's been tanning her entire life, and her skin would look a hell of a lot worse if she were. (I am only tanning for a month or two before the wedding. White does not go with white skin no matter what.) It is just unbelievable to me. Did the girl not go to high school? Well, that's entirely possible. I mean, she wears an "Elite Beach Bunny" tank top every time I see her. She can't be the brightest bulb in the pack, OK.

Anyway, I think we need to start one of those nonprofits to end typing illiteracy. I mean, they must have a cookie cutter set of directions by now. There are only about 10 nonprofits for every person in the United States. I mean, just fill in the blank: The nonprofit group to end ________. It's kind of ridiculous.

You've Got to be Kidding: Only in Georgia...

...can you have snow on Sunday and it be 70 degrees by Saturday.


Below are some pretty pictures of our excuse for snow. My parents (in the NE of the state) and other family members are all under about 7 inches of snow without power right now. My experience was earlier in the day, so most of it has melted. I hope I get some pictures from up there. I don't think we've had snow like that since the blizzard of '93. Lord, look at me, I'm talking like my grandma. "Blizzard of '93." I'm getting old...




You've Got to be Kidding: Pepsi Co caused Tooth Decay

Good Morning America did a special (yesterday from what I can gather, I just flipped it on this morning, and it was being revisited) titled "Hidden America: Children of the Moutains--Taking on Tooth Decay". They revisited it today--you know, to force it down your throat a little more. They make a huge point of blaming Mountain Dew for the rampant tooth decay and tooth loss.

Bull fucking shit.

It's because those damn hillbillies don't brush their teeth! I'm sorry, but when I was a kid (around middle to high school) I was completely addicted to Mountain Dew. Yes, addicted. For years. I was absolutely pressed to the max in sports and activities, and I guess it just ramped me up. Plus, that shit tastes GOOD. Do you know how many teeth I have? 28 (no wisdom teeth, not that I've lost 4). Do you know how many cavities (fillings, not actual cavitites) I have? 1. Do you know why? Because I go to the God damned dentist twice a year, brush my teeth, floss when I fucking feel like it, and rinse with Listerine.

And, don't go thanking the flouride laced water. I lived off a well. We are no different than those Mountain folk.

It pisses me the hell off that these cunts at Good Morning America feel there is a need to blame Pepsi Cola for poor dietary and dental habits (even if they are Obama loving whores). It's unbelievable. That's like blaming McDonald's for being fat. Although, that has happened. I'm sure Pepsi will get sued over this. Bunch of coniving bastards.

You've Got to be Kidding: Dog Toy Foot


So, here I am at Petsmart looking for Essie a dog bed, some toys, and pet stain remover (puppies are going to have accidents, it is just a fact of life), and I come across this. A fucking foot. What the hell? I mean, what sick bastard thinks it is funny for dogs to run around chewing on human feet? That's just plain creepy. It isn't even Halloween! And, the toes are painted, so it's a woman's foot. And, not a very pretty woman's foot, at that. I file this under weird-shit-o-meter off the scale.

PS Please forgive me for not being the ranting, raving lunatic I usually am. I just don't have it in me yet. I'll get the fight back in me. I promise. Please just bear with me, and give me a little time. Thanks.

You've Got to be Kidding: Inauguration is "Emergency"

"President George W. Bush on Tuesday declared an emergency in the District of Columbia that will let the nation's capital tap deeper into federal coffers for Barack Obama's inauguration.

"Bush said that an emergency exists and ordered federal aid to supplement the $15 million in federal funds already appropriated for the event.

"White House spokesman Scott Stanzel said District of Columbia Mayor Adrian M. Fenty requested the emergency declaration on Jan. 7 because he decided that the rowds expected for the nation's 56th presidential inauguration would exceed the city's ability to protect the public.

"If the extra money is needed, it will come from the Federal Emergency and Management Agency budget, Stanzel said.

"In a statement, the White House said the assistance is available to the district for emergency measures to protect public health and safety.

"Fenty and others have said millions could descend on Washington for the inauguration."

Seriously? Seriously?! SERIOUSLY?! That is just un-fucking-believable. They want to use FEMA funds to control the crowds that will be in town for the inauguration? FEMA. Because it will be an "emergency". Who are they kidding? This is just the beginning of Obama's overzealous spending of tax dollars. I hope there are riots.

You've Got to be Kidding: Time for "Missing" Money



"H. Beatty Chadwick, 72, is approaching his 14th consecutive year behind bars, though he has not been charged with a crime. In a 1995 divorce hearing, a judge thought Chadwick was lying about $2.5 million in assets (his wife said he was hiding them; he said he lost them in a business deal) and locked him up for contempt of court, and he has been there ever since. News of the Weird first mentioned him in 2002, when he was closing in on the American record for contempt of court, which he now holds. Chadwick has never wavered in his story, and after an independent retired judge investigated in 2004 and failed to find any money, Chadwick's lawyer compared the 'missing' money to Saddam Hussein's 'missing' weapons of mass destruction (and also pointed to some Pennsylvania murderers who do less time than Chadwick has). [Philadelphia Inquirer, 12-23-08]"
This is why we don't have enough room in our prisons, and we have to let murders go early on "good behavior"? Because a man hiding money from his gold-digging wife even deserves to be in prison in the first place.

You've Got to be Kidding: Arrested for being in Public

From CBS46.com:

"ATLANTA -- A CBS 46 News photographer and reporter were arrested Friday afternoon at Atlanta City Hall while doing a story.

"Photographer Jeff Thorn and reporter Renee Starzyk were handcuffed in the city hall lobby, public property, while doing an ongoing story on water rates.

"While they were not booked and charged, they were detained for over an hour while investigators realized they had done nothing wrong.

"City hall is closed on Fridays, but you can go there to pay your water bill.

"CBS 46 News wanted to catch up with customers who had billing problems, a story we broke earlier this week.

"Just as the public could go through, Thorn and Starzyk were allowed through security at city hall and began videotaping people paying their water bills.

"The officer who let them in then told them to stop.

"They asked why they could not shoot video in a public area.

"'I need you to leave,' said Officer E.R. Murray.

"They made a few phone calls demanding to know why police were throwing them out.

"Thorn and Starzyk moved out of the water department area and began shooting video in the lobby, also a public area.

"'You're in a secure area. You need to go outside,' said Murray.

"Officer Murray then grabbed the camera.

"'Renee, grab my camera or he's going to break it,' said Thorn.

"'What have we done wrong officer,' asked Starzyk.

"Officer Murray replied, 'Obstruction.'

"Officer Murray slapped handcuffs on both of them and told them that they were under arrest, and for no apparent reason.

"They were in an area open to the public and as the law says and the city's legal office told the police, if the public has a right to be there CBS 46 News has a right to be there.

"They sat in handcuffs for at least an hour as city hall and Atlanta police tried to figure out what to do next.

"Finally, the cuffs were taken off and they were issued an apology from the police department and the mayor's office.

"'It’s a terrible misunderstanding. We apologize. We will resolve this matter with our staff. Where the public goes the media can go,' said Chief of Staff Greg Pridgeon.

"Despite arresting Starzyk and Thorn, the police department also agreed they did nothing wrong.

"Atlanta police tell CBS 46 News they are investigating what happened to Thorn and Starzyk.

"If the officer or officers involved did violate the law, we're told disciplinary action could be taken.

"That could range from a verbal or written warning to something more serious. Police wouldn't say.

"CBS 46 News is committed to asking the tough questions and we will continue doing so despite this event."

While it is kind of funny that the reporters got harassed a little, this one statement really gets me: "If the officer or officers involved did violate the law, we're told disciplinary action could be taken." Could be? COULD be? What the hell? If the officer or officers violated the law, disciplinary action should/shall/will/etc. be taken. That's messed up.

You've Got to be Kidding: Cops Steal Childhood

From my ex-hometown newspaper, the Barrow Journal:

"Three boys, two of them 8 and 10, were arrested by Auburn police officers the day after Christmas for name-calling and fighting.

"According to a police incident report, the 10-year-old boy, from Loganville, was skateboarding in front of his mother’s Auburn apartment building on Mount Moriah Road when there was some name calling.

"A 14-year-old boy then allegedly told his 8-year-old brother to go hit the 10-year-old. The younger boy did that, causing some redness and slight bruising under his left eye.

"The 10-year-old pushed back, but the 8-year-old tackled him to the ground and hit him several more times before the older boy could get away and tell his mother. The mother called Auburn police.

"After talking to the boys, the officer decided to charge all three. Two were charged with disorderly conduct and the third, apparently the youngest, was charged with simple battery.

"'Both parties (adults and children) were made aware of these charges and were advised that they would receive a letter from the Department of Juvenile Justice as to a court date for the charges,' states the incident report."

What is this world coming to? I used to fight like cats and dogs with my cousins and friends when I was a kid. I never got arrested for it. Hell, I barely got in trouble for it. Kids fight. It is part of being a kid. Unless you brutally beat the hell out of somebody, how in the world do you justify arresting an 8 year old kid for being a kid? I think these cops need to find something better to do with their time. If they can't find anything, that tax money could be put to better use than paying some incompetent idiot's salary.

You've Got to be Kidding: Gov't Supported Cell Phone


"SafeLink Wireless is a government supported program that provides a free cell phone and airtime each month for income-eligible customers."
Does this not outrage anyone but me? I mean, free CELL phones for people who are already on government assistance. Don't we have more important things to spend our hard earned tax dollars on? A cell phone is not a fucking necessity. It is a LUXURY. Why am I paying for some laid-up lazy ass' luxury items? WHY? I'm already pissed that I've got to PAY in taxes this year--on top of the nearly $6,000 I've already paid to Federal alone. This is the straw that breaks this camel's back. I am irate. Spend the damned money on something we, as a people, NEED--not something Mr. or Ms. I'm-too-lazy-to-work-but-I-have-six-kids wants! Un-fucking-believable.

You've Got to be Kidding: AIDS Drugs are Fun

"Officials in South Africa, where government only recently came to accept the connection between HIV and AIDS after years of denial that provoked the country's epidemic of cases, revealed in December that supplies of retroviral drugs are being used recreationally as hallucinogens smoked by schoolchildren. Health officials told BBC News that the drugs are prescribed to those at risk for AIDS, but are not taken seriously by symptom-free, HIV-diagnosed South Africans who are just now starting to understand the decades-old disease. [BBC News, 12-8-08]"
No wonder there is such a problem! What an outrage! This is what we have been raising money for? To have kids smoke the drugs for hallucinogenic purposes? Ugh.

*I believe this is the original article.

You've Got to be Kidding: "Chad Blue Knows"

"In November, a judge in Dublin, Ga., sentenced Rico Todriquez Wright, 25, to at least 20 years in prison for the 2006 shooting of Chad Blue, who had told police initially that he didn't know who had shot him. Blue later heard a thug-life song on CD, 'Hitting Licks for a Living,' in which rap singer Wright brags, 'Chad Blue knows how I shoot' and realized Wright was the one who shot him that night. [Atlanta Journal-Constitution-AP, 11-19-08]"
Victim - 1; Cocky son-of-a-bitch - 0. Ha. Ha.

You've Got to be Kidding: Kids Having Kids 2nd Ed.

A while back, I talked about Tyra Banks' reaction to a teen survey about sexual conduct. It shocked me, as it did her. Now, it's closer to home, and, for some reason, I'm not all that shocked. Apparently, Jackson County (where I used to live) has the highest rate of teen births in the 10-county Northeast Georgia Health District.

I always thought Jackson County had a lot of pregnant teens. There were lots of them when I was in school. As President of SADD (now Students Against Destructive Decisions, not just Drunk Driving), I was on a panel much like the one described in the second article I've linked to. It was a problem back then (circa 2002), and it's an even bigger problem now. There are 100 births a year for girls 15-19 in a county of less than 60,000 people. As a reference, Cobb County has over 600,000 people.

It all goes back to the issue of teaching abstinence only. We just can't do that anymore. The old way wasn't working, so it's time for a new way. Not only for the pregnancies but for the increases in STDs. Says the high school nurse for the County, “The kids tell me they have nothing to do after school. They congregate at one house and have sex parties. Everyone switches partners.”

Un-freakin'-believable.

You've Got to be Kidding: Religious Persecution

*This is NOT a PG-13 post.

I really thought things were going to change. OK, no I didn't. Obama hasn't even taken office yet, and already I'm bitching about his failures. If he is anything short of a complete failure, color me red, I will be surprised. Very surprised.

What am I going on about? Obama was supposed to make this nation colorblind. He was supposed to erase all hate and prejudice. He was supposed to end racial, religious, and all other forms of discrimination. You see, he was elected the first black President in a nation consumed by white supremacy and religious intolerance. A nation that uplifts whites and oppresses blacks. A nation that uplifts Christians and oppresses any other religion. At least, that's what everyone wanted you to think during his campaign.

If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times. And, honestly, I probably have. Because this shit happens every day. All the time. To all kinds of people. Reverse discrimination is still fucking discrimination. And, I get really damn sick and tired of the absolute bullshit. Really. Sick. And. Tired.

Here's the story that got me so riled up this morning: A Muslim woman was arrested and held for contempt of court for refusing to remove her head covering, which was a violation of court policy. And, you know, the woman (who was from Connecticut but recently moved to Georgia) had the audacity to say that the incident reminded her of the civil rights-era South. Says the imbecile, "'I just felt stripped of my civil, my human rights.'"

Good for you. Way to make this a civil rights issue. It's a fucking court policy. She wasn't even there for her own court appearance (she was accompanying her nephew for his traffic violation hearing), so she could have easily left. But, instead, she had to be a shit-starting bitch and make a huge deal out of nothing.

Now, in case you think I'm just a racist bigot, let me explain to you why this pisses me the fuck off. Even though you're going to think I'm a racist bigot regardless, if you already do, because, well, if I have to explain it to you, you just don't get the whole post anyway, and, frankly, you are not worth my time. Not by a long shot. The issue I take with this is that, EVEN THOUGH "there have been similar cases in other states, including Michigan, where a Muslim woman in Detroit filed a federal lawsuit in February 2007 after a judge dismissed her small-claims court case when she refused to remove a head and face veil", this had to be about some civil-rights bullshit. Because every single person in the South is racist and discriminatory. She just had to go and play the race/religion/whatever discrimination card.

I realize she is dumber than a box of rocks, but does she REALLY think this was about her religion? Because it wasn't. It was about a court policy. A policy that is in place to protect people from another Brian Nichols-type situation. (Yes, I realize he didn't bring his own gun. But, he did shoot up the courthouse. That's my point here.) And, by making it into a religious issue, due to the fact that we are the "discriminatory South" and everyone here is discriminatory, she is guilty of reverse discrimination. Hell, if the stupid bitch hadn't insulted an officer, she probably wouldn't have even been arrested for the violation--just asked to leave:
"Hall [Valentine's husband] said Valentine, an insurance underwriter, told the bailiff that she had been in courtrooms before with the scarf on and that removing it would be a religious violation. When she turned to leave and uttered an expletive, Hall said a bailiff handcuffed her and took her before the judge."
Honey, really, it doesn't matter if you've worn it in other courtrooms. It is a court's right to make those kinds of policies:

"Kelley Jackson, a spokeswoman for Georgia Attorney General Thurbert Baker, said state law doesn't permit or prohibit head scarfs.

"'It's at the discretion of the judge and the sheriffs and is up to the security officers in the court house to enforce their decision,' she said."

So, go ahead, call me a racist bigot. She played the religious persecution card when the only thing persecuted was the poor bailiff.

You've Got to be Kidding: Toy Gun "Weapon"

Someone sent me this article in an email, and even though I am terribly sick, I could not stand to leave it unposted. It's a long and drawn out article, but for heaven's sake, read it. The poor kid is being punished for bringing a TOY gun to school. They say he is guilty of making "terroristic threats", and he is being charged with a felony. For an incident with a toy gun. Did I mention it was an f'ing toy? All emphasis below is mine.

"NEWTON COUNTY, Ga. -- The latest case of zero-tolerance at the public schools has a 10-year-old student sadder and wiser, and facing expulsion and long-term juvenile detention. And it has his mother worried that his punishment has already been harsher than the offense demands.

"'I think I shouldn't have brought a gun to school in the first place,' said the student, Alandis Ford, sitting at home Thursday night with his mother, Tosha Ford, at his side.

"Alandis' gun was a 'cap gun,' a toy cowboy six-shooter that his mother bought for him.

"'We got it from Wal-Mart for $5.96,' Tosha Ford said, 'in the toy section right next to the cowboy hats. That's what he wanted because it was just like the ones he was studying for the Civil War' in his fifth-grade class at Fairview Elementary School.

"'It kind of reminded me of the [soldiers'] guns that I was studying,' Alandis said, 'because I had brought pictures home of the gun and stuff, and that gun that I had reminded me of the revolver' depicted in his textbook.

"Tosha said that Wednesday afternoon, after school, 'six police officers actually rushed into the door' of their home. 'He [Alandis] opened the door because they're police. And then they just kind of pushed him out of the way, and asked him, "Well, where's the gun, where's the real gun?" And they called him a liar... they booked him, and they fingerprinted him.'

"The 'police officers' were actually Newton County Sheriff's Deputies.

"Lt. Mark Mitchell said Thursday that Alandis had used the toy gun to threaten other children on the school bus and in his neighborhood, which Alandis denies.

"Alandis was charged with possessing a weapon on school property and with terroristic acts and threats.

"'On the school bus,' on Tuesday, Alandis said, 'when I dug into my bookbag trying to get my phone out, the boy beside me, he reached in my bookbag and got it [the toy gun] and started telling everybody, "He's got a gun, he's got a gun," and spread it around the whole bus. So I put it back in my bookbag.'

"But he said the students kept shouting, 'He's going to shoot all y'all, he's got a gun, he's going to bring it to school and shoot all y'all.' Did Alandis ever say anything like that or make any threatening moves with his toy gun? 'No!'

"The school bus driver never caught on to what the students were saying, and as a result never confiscated Alandis' toy gun.

"There is video from inside the school bus, and investigators are reviewing it.

"The next afternoon, Wednesday afternoon, Alandis and his cousin went to the home of a friend in the neighborhood, another 10-year-old boy, to play with him.

"'And we told him, "We came over to see if you can come out." He saw the gun that I had. So he ran in the house and called 911.'

"Alandis said he found out later that his friend had never before seen a gun and thought it was real, and thought Alandis might shoot it. Alandis insists he never said anything to the friend other than inviting him to come out and play.

"'The 911 call that we received' on Wednesday, Lt. Mitchell said, 'was that a 10-year-old male was outside of a residence with a gun threatening to shoot another child.'

"Mitchell was referring to the incident report from the Newton County Sheriff's investigators who write that deputies 'responded to a 911 call from a ten-year-old [neighbor of the Fords] who said there was a boy outside of his house with a gun trying to kill him.'

"Lt. Mitchell said that, apart from Alandis' denial that he made any threats, investigators quickly realized that the only gun Alandis had was his cap gun.

"'In this day and time, we do not take anything lightly, whether it's a toy gun or a real weapon, for the safety of the kids and everyone involved, the safety of the school. That's our main concern.'

"Tosha Ford agrees that Alandis should not have brought the toy gun to school, and did not know that he did, but she said the reaction that unfolded was overblown, due to rumors that school children quickly spread.

"'Someone heard that Alandis had a toy gun in his bookbag and said, "Oh, Alandis is going to bring a gun, he's going to shoot everybody." He [Alandis] was wrong, he should never have taken it to school. And I told him that. And he's being punished' at home. 'But also on the other side of the coin, I think it's a travesty what's happened to him.... For them to say that's he's made terroristic threats is just ridiculous. We've taken it and changed what "terroristic threats" was meant to be for. And with children saying that "he's got a gun, he's got a gun," it's gotten blown out of proportion.... I don't think they handled it very well. I know it's their job, but I think they took it to the extreme.'

"Sherri Viniard, the Director of Public Relations for the Newton County School System, emailed a statement to 11Alive News Thursday that reads, in part:

"'Student safety is our primary concern, and although this was a toy gun, it is still a very serious offense and it is a violation of school rules. We will not tolerate weapons of any kind on school property.'

"Alandis had his first hearing in juvenile court on Thursday. Tosha said the case worker assigned to Alandis will recommend a period of probation, rather than juvenile detention. The judge will make the final decision.

"Tosha said Alandis is not allowed back in school for now. She has a meeting scheduled with school administrators. She does not know if he will be expelled, and is hoping for no more than a ten-day suspension.

"'A toy gun is a toy gun,' Lt. Mitchell said, 'to be played with and for kids to have fun with. But when kids use it the wrong way, just like anything, then it can be scary.'

"And that's the crux of the dispute about the 'terroristic threats' charge, whether Alandis purposely did anything to scare anyone, or whether other children over-reacted at the sight of his toy gun.

"For the record, Alandis knows what he wants to be when he grows up -- a police officer. And that hasn't changed.

"'You know, he's a 10-year-old little boy who wants to be a police officer,' Tosha said. He also has 'little walky-talkies and stuff, because they like to play police and recon.'

"Innocence of child's play now lost, she says, no matter what the outcome of the case is."

It was an f'ing toy. How is that "weapons of any kind"? And, the "terroristic threats" that are the basis for all this uproar (since they figured out he didn't actually have a gun, but a toy, they had to find something to punish him for!), are all based on children's rumors! Unbelievable. According to the article, he wasn't even the one talking about the gun, the other kids were. And, the whole 911 call was based off a kid freaking out because he had never seen a gun before. I'm sorry, but parents need to educate their children on the difference between toys and weapons. Even if they don't want them playing with toy guns. It is just shitty parenting if you ask me. If that kid had any kind of upbringing, his parents would have taught him right from wrong instead of trying to shelter him from all things unSeasame Street. Sheltered children are a menace to society. Clearly. OK, I'm pretty sick, so I'm going back to bed. But, let's be real here, that kid didn't do anything wrong short of using his imagination. I'm surprised they didn't charge him with impersonating a police officer since he likes to use his walky-talky to "play" cops. I'm honestly appalled right now. Even if you are anti-gun, I can't begin to believe you can't see that the kid is completely innocent of what they have charged him with. Give the kid a break. Give me a break. Ugh.

You've Got to be Kidding: "Friendly" Reminder 2nd Ed.

So, you guys remember when I posted about the idiocy that is Athens-Clarke County and their "Friendly Reminder". Well, they've really gone and done it now. Apparently, Athens-Clarke Auditor John Wolfe thinks the boarded-up buildings in Athens "are targeted by vandals and used for illegal activities like dealing drugs. 'It deflates the whole neighborhood,' he said." Basically, he wants to destroy properties that are vacant--properties people own and pay property taxes on. Let's play a little game of what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-this-picture?!
"Wolfe made 15 other recommendations in his CPD audit, though none have drawn as much attention as cracking down on dilapidated buildings. They include:
  • Scheduling code-enforcement officers to work nights and weekends.
  • Coordinating patrols with garbage pickup schedules to catch residents who leave their trash cans on the curb too long.
  • Considering laws to address graffiti and undesirable vegetation.
  • Rewriting a law allowing no more than two unrelated people to live together in single-family zoning districts to make the law easier to enforce."

So, not only does he want to destroy your property, he wants 24-hour surveillance of your TRASH CAN. Are you f'ing kidding me? Don't you have something better to do with your friggin' time? I'd love to hear the definition of "undesirable vegetation", too, because, I bet that would be rich! Not to mention the fact that none of the above atrocities have received as much attention as the vacant properties issue. That disturbs me more than a little. It looks like I got out of that place just in time.

You've Got to be Kidding: Buttcrack Abnormalities

From my site meter:


Am I the only one that finds this disturbing? People are searching google for "buttcrack abnormalities". I don't know what's worse: the fact that weirdos are searching for this sort of thing or the fact that it brings them to my blog. Scary.