To Whomever is Stalking Me from Commerce, GA

Yes, I see you creeping on my page. No, I don't know who you are, but I know you're cyber stalking my blog. You may or may not live in Commerce, but you live nearby, and you use Windstream. You also use Windows XP, which probably means you aren't up on the newest and greatest, since you don't have Vista. You also use Firefox, instead of Internet Explorer, which means you have at least half a brain. Anyway, I know you're there. You know who you are. Please come forward with your identity. I won't chastise you for stalking me. I like it. I'm kinky like that. I just want to know who it is back home that thinks they must slink around on here without showing his or her face. I'm just sayin'.

Abnormalities of the Male Penis 2nd Ed & Mudbutt Anonymous

The other day, I gave you some info about who had visited my site. The number of hits off the dreaded penis post was astonishing. I found it mildly hilarious that people searched for such atrocities as "abnormalities of the male penis" and "heavy lifting now testicles hurt and penis soft". OK, let's he honest, it was way more than mild hilarity. I had to pick myself up off the floor and wipe my tears.

And, yes, I am so immature and childish and whatnot that the shit is STILL funny. And, to stoke the fire, there are MORE. Yes, two new additions to our penis family are the "penile abnormalities" and "pictures of penis abnormalities". Oh, he wants to see pictures... What a freak! For proof, see below (click for larger):

But, it doesn't stop there. I was so enjoying my penis envy when I came upon this little gem (click for larger):

Yes, that says "mudbutt anonymous" What. The. Fuck?!

Abnormalities of the Male Penis

Since I posted the dreaded penis post, I've had quite a bit of google traffic with searches related to penises. I can't say I mind. Because that shit is pretty funny. Of course, I've had not one, not two, but three searches for the word "circumcision"--one from Seattle, one from Gendale, Calif., and one unknown but in the US. I also had one from Paris that was just "penis". Those French people... My favorite one might be this one (click for larger), which searched for "heavy lifting now testicles hurt and penis soft":

Damn. That sucks.

But, these two (click for larger) are pretty good, too. They searched for "penis abnormalities" and "photos of abnormalities in the male penis" (as if there are abnormalities in the female penis...), respectively.

And, yes, I am getting entirely too much enjoyment out of this.

You've Got to be Kidding: Buttcrack Abnormalities

From my site meter:

Am I the only one that finds this disturbing? People are searching google for "buttcrack abnormalities". I don't know what's worse: the fact that weirdos are searching for this sort of thing or the fact that it brings them to my blog. Scary.