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Reason #473 Why You Better Get A Gun

Because the cops are too busy out looking for a giant inflatable duck to come to your rescue:
"KENNEWICK, Wash. — It’s all ducks to the rescue — the Great Mid-Columbia Duck is on the loose.

The inflatable fowl was stolen from the Joe’s Sporting Goods store in Kennewick last week. The duck stands 10 feet tall and 15 feet wide, wearing sunglasses. But it didn’t look like that on the night of the crime.

'It wasn’t inflated,' said Loy Hibbs, the store manager. 'It was flat and stuck in a small space, so it [had to be] someone who knew it was here and came specifically to get it.'

Authorities have offered a $1,000 reward for the duck, which shouldn’t be too hard to spot.

'You can’t exactly inflate it and not have people notice you have a big giant duck in your back yard,' said Anthony Davis of Kennewick.

— KNDU of Kennewick, Wash."

Moral of the story: Don't count your chickens ducks. Have a gun in case the cops can't be there...because they are out looking for inflatable fowl.

Update: Good news. The fowl has been found. Now we can rest assured that the cops will be there for us in our times of need. Ha.

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