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Happy Spa: We Love You Long Time!

From my ex-hometown newspaper The Banks County News*:

The Banks County Board of Commissioners revoked the business license of “Best Health Spa” for 90 days in a called meeting on Dec. 10 and placed the business on probation for an additional six months.

The action comes after several alleged violations, including “a massage of areas prohibited by the county ordinance” and the employee not being property clothed. The violations were cited by an undercover investigator with the Banks County Sheriff’s Office who went into the business on Sunday, Dec. 7. He was sent into the spa after it was noted by the sheriff’s office that the open sign was in place on the business on a Sunday. The county ordinance states that health spas can not be open on Sunday.

The investigator, speaking at the BOC meeting on Dec. 10, said a female, dressed in a bikini and wearing high heels, gave him a massage. He also noted that she massaged his “buttocks.” He paid $40 for the 30-minute massage.

The “Best Health Spa” is located at 152 Dallas Drive, below MVP Café, and it opened on Dec .1. The violations include the following:

•Massage of specific anatomical areas prohibited. No owner, operator or employee shall intentionally touch or massage or offer to touch or massage specific anatomical regions.

•Proper owner, operator, employee clothing required. Each owner, operator and employee of a spa/massage and bodywork therapy business shall wear clothing of an opaque material and it shall be unlawful for such person to fail to fully conceal his or her specific anatomical regions.

•Patron coverings required. Each spa/massage and bodywork therapy business shall provide to each patrol clean, sanitary and opaque coverings capable of covering the patron’s specific anatomical regions. No massage and body work shall be administered unless the patron is covered by such covering of the specific anatomical

•Hours of operation. A spa/massage and bodywork therapy business shall be closed between the hours of 10 p.m. and 6 a.m. and closed on Sunday.

•Application. The business application must be accompanied by a certificate or diploma from a recognized school as defined for each person working in the business of performing massage or reflexology.

I just think that's nothing but funny shit, right there!

*In case you are wondering why The Commerce News, The Banks County News, The Jackson Herald, The Madison County Journal, The Braselton News, and The Barrow Journal are ALL my "ex-hometown newspaper", it is because they are all owned and run by Main Street News, and many of the stories run in multiple papers. We read most of them, and they are all very closely located cities/counties.


  1. A few miles from where I grew up was a section of town with a few shady massage parlors. One of the massage parlors was named Scorpios Female Companionship.

    I was always given a lot of freedom since I was 12. I used to ride my bicycle to all the smaller towns around and the larger city of Springfield, MO. One of my buddies always rode with me. One day we were riding past these massage parlors, and I dared him to go into one of them. Only if you come with me, so I agreed. We picked Scorpios.

    We opened the door and the smell of pot emptied the trailer (single-wide, yellow and brown). A bunch of nasty looking women sat around in Frederick of Hollywood's clearance items looking puzzled at us. My friend out of no where exclaimed we heard this was a good place to eat. To this day, I have never asked him eat what? They asked us to leave quickly.

    You have opened up my story telling side today.

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  3. "the trailer (single-wide, yellow and brown)" - VERY classy!
    "You have opened up my story telling side today." - Always happy to oblige!
    Oh, and, I don't want to know what they've got to eat...for sure.

  4. OMG when the other "massage" place was over close to LAHA, they wouldnt let me in to do pre-fire plans ....told me NOT ALLOWED, NO WOMEN ALLOWED.... hehehehe

  5. That was great. My favorite line was:

    He also noted that she massaged his "buttocks."

    Buttocks in quotations. We all know what that means.

  6. He paid $40 for the 30-minute massage.

    Had he discreetly left another $40 as a tip he would have received another massage, although I doubt it would have taken 30 minutes to complete the massage.

    ... or so I hear.


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