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Look What I Can Do! Sausage Balls, A Recipe

OK, so I'm not the world's best cook. OK, I'm probably close to the world's worst cook. But, I'm OK with that. And, so is my "finance" (sic). So, there.

But, anywho, I am having my future-in-law side of the family over to my house tomorrow to do Christmas since we're going home to see my family. I didn't want "my" nieces to have to wait until after Christmas for presents. That's just cruel. Making kids wait until after a holiday for a gift--be it Christmas or birthday--is just completely and utterly wrong. I hated it when assholes did that to me as a kid. Hell, I still hate that shit. Give me my present early if you can't make it the day of. How hard is that? Give. Me. Present! Ugh. I digress. (Sorry, I got excited about presents...)

So, I'm having Mom and Sis and Bro and their kids over tomorrow. We're going to do a finger-food dinner. Sis is bringing chicken tenders and maybe some other stuff, and I'm doing the rest. I was going to make a cheese ball, but let's be real. I am going to make a cheese dip. Hey, that's in a crock pot. That's not actually cooking. I bought a veggie tray with dip, and I'm making a cake and putting birthday candles on it since the kids like to sing "Happy Birthday" to Jesus for Christmas (how sweet is that?!).

And, I decided I could make cheese balls. (I think I can. I think I can.) Yes, me, hell on wheels with flour. I know. Lord, help us. But, my Mommy promises me it's the bestest thing ever and soooo easy. Here's my pathetic attempt in the oven:

I know, I know. They are enormous. It's like Elephantiasis of the (sausage) balls. I didn't realize they would get so big! But, they turned out nice and brown (and done). I even ventured to taste them. Gasp! I ate sausage and didn't pitch a bitch. For those who know me, you know what I mean. For those that don't, I'm only about the most picky eater on the planet. I'm worse than a five year old with brussel sprouts. No kidding. I don't normally eat pork because, well, it just kind of grosses me out and makes me want to vomit. Seriously. And, no, I am not vegetarian, OK? So, stop asking.

So, anyway, I don't know if Mom, Sis, Bro, and the kids will like them, but I am leaving a few out for the fiance to try when he gets home. I actually liked them, and if he likes them, they are still on the menu for tomorrow. Here's the recipe (as if you can't find it on google with the first try*):

1 lb. HOT sausage (Regular makes it too bland, or so I'm told. It wasn't very hot with the hot, in case you're wondering, and I hate spicy foods, so if I say that, it's true.)
2 cups shredded sharp cheddar cheese (don't use that fat free shit, it won't melt)
2 cups Bisquick (pancake and baking mix--found by the pancake stuff, not
necessarily the flour)

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Mix all ingredients in a LARGE bowl (No, seriously, I got shit all over the counter). You will have to kneed the nasty pig carcass with your hands. You. Will. Survive. I swear, I did. Mix things very well and squish and squash with your fingers for a good little while. (You will need very strong forearms for this step.) Then, pinch off little pieces--smaller than you think they need to be--and roll into 1" balls. Squish the balls together pretty good. Don't leave cracks because they will open up when cooking. Place the balls on a cookie sheet (I greased with PAM. Use whatever you want. I don't give a shit.) spaced so they aren't touching. They don't need to be very far apart, and this will make a LOT of balls, so unless you want to use two pans, pack them puppies in there. Bake for 15-20 minutes or until they start to brown on top. Make sure the meat cooks through--we are talking raw pork here. Gross.
*My Mommy gave it to me, not google. Google is not my Mommy.

UPDATE: Travis did like them. Verdict: they stay on the menu, and they are safe to try for yourself!


  1. OMG those look great !!! I want some, share please....

  2. Those look good. Next time make it with caribou sausage and watch the flames from the animal rights weirdos come.

  3. If I have any left, I will bring them home. I promise. But, Mom is making some tomorrow anyway.

  4. Oh, and I'll get right on that, Clay.


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