Because (in case no one has noticed) I like to be gross and nasty, I have to tell you all about "Louisiana Swamp Ass". Many people refer to it as merely "Swamp Ass", but I just don't feel that it does it justice. You have to go, in your mind, to the hot, humid, sticky, swampy nastiness of lower Louisiana when you think of such a ugly little predicament. But, Linz, "What is 'Louisiana Swamp Ass'?", you ask. The best definition I have found comes from Urban Dictionary:
A common condition in which the ass crack and crotch become overly moist, sweaty, and stinky from one or all of the following:
- sweating on a hot day
- not bathing enough
- long day of work, sports, or play
- incomplete wipe due to rush or laziness
The crack will often feel squishy, wet, unpleasant, and itchy.
It is recommended to take a bath with soap to sanitize the condition.
I just find this hilarious. I'm sorry if you don't. I guess you can't relate. I know I sure as hell had some "Louisiana Swamp Ass" last week when I got home from Talladega. Sheeewwweee!
Note: My boyfriend loves me even though I am gross. I think he loves me because I am gross. Wrap your head around that one.
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