Stuff I Think

I think:

• People get married without knowing each other long enough.
• Grapefruit is evil. Why must it skeet skeet all in my eye? Why? And, why is it that one of the best and most healthy things you can eat for breakfast is so damn hard to eat? See, God wants us to be fat.
• The stuff that's easiest and quickest to eat makes us the fattest. See, God wants us to be fat.
• If it tastes good, it's bad for you. If it tastes bad, it's good for you.
• Time actually moves slower when you're bored and faster when you're having a good time.
• Summer in Georgia is entirely too humid.
• C's get degrees. And, sometimes, D's do, too.
• Coffee is a terrible drink to talk over. Why can't social drinks be tastier?
• Gas is way to high.
• The tax man and the devil share the same address.
• If something is worth doing, it is worth doing right.
• You should keep your mouth shut and carry a big stick.
• Dogs are better than cats.
• It's funny when people race past me and are sitting at the red light when I get there.
• Pretty much everyone I know suffers from psychological projection.
• Absence really does make the heart grow fonder. Ask anyone who has moved away from family they love.
• People need to lighten up a little.
• I would have liked to see Hillary Clinton in office. Again. Our economy was much better when she was running the show.
• The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
• Bugs, spiders, and other creepy-crawlies better not come in my house. Or they will die.
• There are too many excuses and not enough apologies.
• Everyone is better than someone at something.
• People who have too many kids to fit the family in a normal vehicle (i.e., 7 total--2 adults, 5 children) are greatly contributing to the demise of the planet. This does not include foster or adoptive parents.
• There is no substitute for a good education, but a good education doesn't always come from a traditional school.
• People should have more respect for our military men and women.
• George W. Bush is a certifiable retard.
• Money only matters when you don't have enough of it.

Now, my head hurts. That's what I get for thinking.