Quotes and Sayings

These are some quotes I've heard somewhere by someone, yet I don't know their origins. Maybe I shouldn't repeat such things...

• Those who criticize our generation forget who raised it.
• No one is perfect. That’s why pencils have erasers.
• Life is like a hot bath: It feels good while you’re in it, but the longer you stay in, the more wrinkled you get.
• Life is like an onion: You peel it off one layer at a time, and sometimes you weep.
• Everyday is a gift. That's why they call it the present.
• It is better to light a candle than to curse the darkness.
• Do or do not. There is no try.
• Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clear to the bone.
• Wish in one hand, and shit in the other. See which one fills up first.
• There are two kinds of people: fools and damn fools. A fool knows he is a fool.
• A man is poor who has no friends.
• Two tears in a bucket, motha fuck it.
• A friend is someone who will help you move. A real friend is someone who will help you move a body.
• Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some people abuse the privilege.
• Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
• People are more opposed to fur than leather because it is safer to harass rich women than bikers.
• Good judgement comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgement.
• Good friends are like stars: You can't always see them, but you know they are there.
• The shortest distance between two points is under construction. (Especially in Atlanta!)
• Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side.
• Common sense is a sense that is not very common.
• Any sufficiently advanced bureaucracy is indistinguishable from molasses.
• It's mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
• A chain is only as strong as its weakest link.
• An optimist will tell you the glass is half-full; the pessimist, half-empty; and the engineer will tell you the glass is twice the size it needs to be.
• There are two sure things in life: death and taxes.
• There are three kinds of work: fast, cheap, and good. You can only get two of the three. If it's fast and cheap, it won't be good. If it's good and cheap, it won't be fast, and if it's good and fast, it won't be cheap.
• It is often not about the destination but the journey.
• My goal in life is to be as good a person as my dog already thinks I am.
• The dictionary is the only place where success comes before work.
• Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.
• Work like you don't need the money, love like you've never been hurt, and dance like nobody is watching.
• Your work is not your life.

That's all I can think of right now. I'll try to do a part two later if anyone says they liked this...