The Remix to the Remix

Because I'm feeling like a rapper who can't come up with new lyrics, I'm gonna break you off with a little remix to the remix. I made a collage of some pictures of hair I like. Please give me some thoughts and feedback (you can click on it to see a full sized version). I need something new!

Trashy Tabloids 101

Since when were the lives of Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, and Lindsay Lohan scholastic? Um, never? This absolutely blows my mind. Apparently, they are having a symposium at the University of East Anglia to discuss these people's lives and the media attention (which creates public attention) that they invoke. This is a serious, legitimate event that includes papers such as “Britney’s Tears: the Abject Female Celebrity in Postemotional Society” and “Hooker, Victim and/or Doormat: Lindsay Lohan and the Culture of Celebrity Notoriety”. They are supposedly trying to figure out why we like to see women brought down. Um, let's see, it's like a train wreck. You can't help but look. We all (for some sick, twisted reason) like to see other people fail or make a fool of themselves in some way, shape, or form. This is no different. It doesn't take a scholar to figure that out. And, by the way, it isn't just the women we like to see impel themselves with the sharp end of stupidity. We like reading about men in tabloids, too. (That wasn't an admission of guilt, really, it wasn't...)

The "Phantom Slamming on of the Brakes"

And Other Driving Horrors You should Avoid, Asshole!

Everyone hates traffic and bad drivers, and there is no shortage of either here in the lovely city of Atlanta. Being from the country, the most heinous driving crime I'm used to is Mr. Farmer driving his tractor down the road at 20 miles an hour. Granted, that's no fun on a tiny road where you can't pass, but this just doesn't compare to city driving. There are some obnoxiously frequent occurrences on our city streets and interstates around metro-Atlanta. I have decided to outline them for you in the hope that maybe, just maybe, those of you who drive like complete morons will get the hint and either wise up or just move the hell out of Georgia. If there are any I leave off, please let me know. It is of the utmost importance that this list be full and complete, so as to insure optimized traffic flow in this overly crowded and transportation-challenged area.

1. The "Phantom Slamming on of the Brakes"--it is absolutely absurd to slam on your brakes in the middle of smoothly flowing traffic when there are no signs of reason. This creates a catastrophic jam for miles on a crowded rush hour interstate, something like a Butterfly Effect. And just so you know, seeing a cop on the road or the side of the road is no reason to slow down and certainly not reason enough to slam on your brakes. News Flash 'tard: By the time you see the cop, his radar has definitely seen your speeding ass.
2. Rubbernecking--which goes nicely with number 1. Do not slow down to look at that gruesome wreck on the other side of the interstate. Move your ass! You are going to cause a wreck because you are ogling at the one over there. Read about it in the morning paper, and save me the wear on my brakes, k? Thanks.
3. Left Lane Riding--the left lane is for passing, not driving 50 miles an hour in a 70 miles an hour zone. "Keep Right Except to Pass." Sound familiar? It should. Because it is plastered all over the interstate. So, do it! And don't get in the HOV lane if you are going to go 50 miles an hour. That lane is there for a reason, and that reason is to allow conscientious drivers who carpool or ride motorcycles to move through the slower moving traffic. If you are going as slow as (or slower than) the other traffic, you are defeating the purpose. Move your ass!
4. Turning without Signaling--you have little blinky lights on your car. Do you know what they are for? Apparently not. Because no one uses the damn things. They are for signaling for a turn or lane change. Yes, such a miracle invention exists! So, would you kindly use them before turning. And, no, it does not count if you slam on your brakes and start to turn BEFORE you turn on your signal. No, that just won't fly.
5. Turn Lane Signaling--a less than horrible offense, but it can be made more horrible, much more horrible. Once you are in the turn lane, it is safe to turn off your signal. Really, it is. Just reach over and click it off. Now, doesn't that feel good? When you are in the turning lane, it is pretty safe to say you are turning, and people probably know that. However, it is not not not acceptable to get in the turn lane without using your signal, and then turn on your signal once in the turn lane. No! We already know you're turning, idiot. We figured that out when you nearly clipped our bumper getting into the turn lane because you didn't use your signal and tried to killed us! See number 4. And do it.
6. Doing Your Makeup--get up 15 minutes earlier and save me the stress of having to drive on the road with your swerving and slamming on the brakes. End of story.
7. Talking on Your Cell Phone--I understand talking on the phone because you are a busy, important somebody. But shut up. If you can't walk and chew gum at the same time, you have no business driving while talking on the phone. This applies to head sets, too. I don't care if you use your hands or not. I care about whether you are using your brain. Because you aren't. At all. Shut up and drive. And you better as hell not be texting while you're driving. Or I'll kick your ass.
8. Driving without Headlights in Rain/at Dusk--I don't know how they do it up there in Yankeeville, but down here, we have laws. And those laws say to drive with your headlights on for one hour before sunset and one hour after sunrise. There is also one that says to drive with your lights on when it is raining. Because if you hit me because I can't see your black car driving in the dark rain, it's your ass.
9. Driving 15 Miles an Hour in Rain--yes, you should use more caution in inclement weather, but let's be realistic. Your car has tires on it, right? Let's look at those tires. Do you see those little grooves in there? That's for traction. Do you know what traction is? If not, you can learn about it here. Now, those little grooves in there allow the rain water to go through so your car can still touch the road. Isn't that amazing?! So, stop driving 15 miles an hour because you're reading this while driving, and get your ass out of the way.

Bathroom Etiquette

Since I am thoroughly grossed out and appalled by the people who use restrooms I have to use, I'm writing some pointers about bathroom etiquette. The following list is probably far from complete, but it would certainly make my potty experience much better if people followed these guidelines:

• Peek, Don't Push--don't push on a door to see if someone is in the stall. Bend your lazy ass over and peek under for signs of occupying feet. Or peek in the crack to see if there is an animate mass in there. Some doors don't lock well, and some don't have locks at all (a whole other problem), so be kind, I don't want you seeing my behind.
• Flush the Toilet--and check to see if all your poo and paper went down. Sometimes, by no fault of your own, the toilet doesn't get everything. But, it is your responsibility to flush again. Don't make people walk into that. And if you do walk into that, just flush it. It won't kill you. It is stupid to walk into another stall just because there is a piece of toilet paper left in the bowl.
• Tell People You Used all the TP--Don't walk out of a stall knowing you used all the toilet paper, or it was all gone when you got in there, and watch someone else go in without telling them. That's just rude.
• Clean Up after Yourself--Don't leave a mess anywhere in the bathroom. Pick up paper if you drop it. Wipe off the seat if you drip on it. Sweep away hair if you lose some on any surface of the bathroom. Hair is absolutely vile once it leaves your head (or whatever unmentionable it came from).
• Wash Your Hands--this is so important I wrote an entire blog about it. Don't throw your hands under running water for an instant and say they are clean. They are far from it. And I really don't want to open a door after you knowing you probably had all kinds of nasty, unsanitary, bodily fluids all over your hands.
• Don't Talk on Your Cell Phone--I understand you can't talk on your phone at work, but don't go into the stall next to me to do so. I'm trying to potty in peace. I know whomever is on the other line really doesn't want to hear me fart or flush the toilet. Because, hey, shit happens. It's rude to those in the bathroom, and it's rude to the person on the other end of your phone, even if they say they don't mind.
• Bathrooms are for Eliminating--Don't go in there to have gossip hour or spread out your entire make-up bag all over the counter because you were running late this morning and had to clock in before doing your make-up. People need to get to the sink. When you are standing there chit-chatting (which is so gross, anyway--who talks in a bathroom?!) or putting on your make-up, you are in the way. Move.
• Don't Drip Your Wet Hands Everywhere--while I applaud you for at least attempting to wash your hands, you do not have to drip them all over the counter and sling them all over the floor before drying them. Keep the counters clean so people can sit down their things while washing their hands. Bathroom floors are absolutely disgusting, and no one wants to have to sit their things on the floor because the counter is soaked. And floors can become quite slippery when 27 people in a row sling their wet hands on the floor as a preliminary drying procedure.

Like I said, I'm sure I've missed some things, but these are the items that immediately come to mind. Be courteous. Bathrooms are gross enough without your help.

This is the Remix

So, I'm tired of the same old crap, and I'd really like to get my hair cut differently (same color!). I'm got a few pictures of ones I like, but they are still really close to what I already have. I want a new 'do. It's time for the remix. I want something new and fresh, but not too drastic. Send me your ideas. Please!

The Big Chicken

Every town has something for which it is known. Around here, we have the Big Chicken. It's been around a long time, and it has a pretty cool history. It was designed by a GA Tech student (we'll let that one slide) back in the 60's. Even when it was damaged severely by a storm in the 90's, people refused to let it die. They demanded it be repaired. To this day, the eyes still roll around and around, and the beak still opens and closes. I was recently driving by when I noticed it was getting repainted. This icon now sits atop a full, regular service KFC. But it does a lot more than advertise. Everyone around here uses it for directions, as it sits at a very busy intersection. So, if you're ever in the area, and someone says, "Turn right at the Big Chicken", you'll know what to do! Send me your hometown uniqueness!

The Water Taxi

To get to and from the conference I went to in Savannah, you had to use a water taxi (a ferry). It was so cute. I have never been on a ferry before. I took a picture of them for your enjoyment.

Marriott Savannah Riverfront

In short, don’t stay there.

I stayed in the Savannah, GA Marriott for three nights, and they were pretty crappy nights.

First off, the hotel charges for parking, even if you stay there. I can understand charging for parking, really I can, but not at a hotel--not any hotel--when you are paying to stay there. I really don’t stay at “nicer” hotels that often. I really just love Hampton Inn, honestly. But, why is it that a cheaper hotel doesn’t charge for parking but a more expensive one does. That’s just ignorant. Seriously.

Second, they charge for internet. And it ain’t cheap. They charge $10/24 hours. I’m sorry, but you don’t charge for internet, especially not $10 a day! Again, at the Hampton Inn, I can get all the free internet I can stand. Why is it I have to pay for it at a “nicer” hotel?!

Third, the hot tub might as well be a cold tub. It’s freezing. I got out and came and took a hot shower because I was so cold. (Not that the towels were big enough to keep me warm.) They have an indoor pool and an outdoor pool, which is nice, but they are both really small.

Fourth, the breakfast is not free. Are you kidding me? When did that become acceptable? Again, Hampton Inn provides an amazing breakfast FOR FREE. It isn’t some prepackaged muffin. It’s real breakfast, and it’s good. And it’s free.

Maybe I’m just a cheapskate, but why am I paying almost twice what I would pay at Hampton Inn for none of the things I get there? I mean, have you slept in a Hampton Inn bed? They are pretty freakin’ amazing! (The beds here were pretty nice, too, I will admit.)

I will say, in their defense, that the staff is very nice, and there are name brand Bath & Body Works Aromatherapy products (one of my personal favorites!) in the bathrooms…

In summary, I really don’t recommend this place. If you like paying out your ass, I guess you’d like this place pretty well, but if you want some value out of your trip, just don’t do it.

One Eyed Lizzy's

Tonight, I went to One Eyed Lizzy's in Savannah, GA for dinner. I had the nachos and my date had the chicken fingers. We had the cutest, sweetest waitress. Her name was Laura. If you ever go, ask for her. She works two jobs--she's making something for herself. That's really cool to me. But anyway, the food was great! My nachos were never-ending, and the fries and honey mustard were super. I do love fries dipped in honey mustard--especially when they are good. LOL! The atmosphere is pretty cool. It's got a great bar area...and great drinks. I had a Patron Watermelon Margarita. It was delicious, and I was drunk. They certainly don't skimp on the booze! There were lots of things on the walls in Spanish. I don't really know if it is supposed to be kind of Spanish-themed, but they had lots of food options. It's a great place to go if you have several picky eaters who all want something different. And you want some good drinks... Verdict: definitely, yes--for a good and easy-going dinner.

Fort Pulaski

Because you probably know more about history than me, I'm not going to go on and on about my trip to Fort Pulaski. I will, however, bombard you with about a quarter of the million pictures I took. I'm pretty pleased with some of them. I hope you like them. And, go visit the fort if you ever go to Savannah. It is on Cockspur Island just outside Savannah, and you can see the cute, little Cockspur Island Lighthouse from the fort. You can see it in one of the pictures below (the one of just the horizon about two-thirds of the way down). Enjoy! (Note: you can click on a picture to see it at full size. Just hit the "back" button when you're done to return to the blog.)