Just Another Manic Monday

I wish it were Sunday. Oh, hell, I wish it were Friday afternoon. Again. Over and over and over. Again.

I've been on vacation for almost two whole weeks, and today is my first day back. I have a migraine. Enough said.

I just am not feeling very chipper and rested after so many days at home (a few were spent back home with my family, which is always nice). See, I have this little sleeping issue. I say "little" because, well, I'm not really much for self pity. But, really, it's a big shitty problem that I've had for, oh, say, 10 years now? No, I'm not that old. I have always had trouble sleeping. As a child, I slept at night, got up early and never ever napped. I didn't sleep in the car while we were driving--even the six hours to the beach. I didn't sleep during nap time in Kindergarten, which always got me frowny faces. ...Those bitches, I can't help it I can't sleep!... Anywho, I've been taking something to help me sleep for going on six years now. And, I think it is past its prime.

I know I was out of my routine last night when I went to bed, but it was friggin' ridiculous. It's often like that on Sunday. I lay down, and I can't get to sleep for hours. Then, when I finally do get to sleep, I wake up at 2 AM and never go back to sleep. And, it isn't like I hate my job or something. I just get very anxious on Sunday nights. On other nights, I get anxious, as well, but Sunday is the worst. I don't know why.

So, I'm really exhausted, and I just got back from a two week vacation. Of doing nothing. Absolutely nothing. But resting. Please explain this to me. I think I've decided it is shrink time. I think I'll make an appointment to see the psychiatrist. I want a sleep study. I want someone to tell me why I get highly anxious at night and no other time. What the hell is that?! I realize I'm high strung, but SERIOUSLY. Let a girl get some sleep.

Add that to the fact that I'm going to have to PAY taxes this year. Yeah, I won't be getting a single cent back, I'll be paying those good for nothing bastards. And, this is AFTER paying almost $6,000 in federal taxes alone this year. Go ahead, go calculate how much I make. Freaks. Anyway, I'm not 100% sure on that yet because I don't have my W-2, but from my paycheck stubs, it ain't looking so hot. I was so thrilled we got bonuses this year (even if our profit-where bonuses come from-was 1/3 last year's profit, for our company to be making a profit at all in our economy is amazing!). And, even though it was $1500 less than I got last year, it was still great to get anything. I was looking forward to putting some money into my savings and building it back up. Nope. Think again. That'll be going to the IRS and that son-of-a-bitch Obama with all his new ideas. Kill. Me. Now.

And, throw in a little of Travis' dad is still in the hospital. Even though he is out of ICU and the coma finally, I still miss him. And, Pepe really misses his Grandparents. We go over to feed Travis' Jack Russell, Mickey, who Pepe loves, and Pepe runs up to the house to see Mom and Dad. But no Mom and Dad is to be found. Sigh...

I guess I'm just a little down today. I've tried to pick myself up a little. I walked down five flight of stairs to the mailroom three times today. I'd walk back up, but it's hot as hell in there, and I'm fat, and I sweat. It didn't really make me feel a whole lot better. I ate a sensible lunch and don't think I gained much over the holiday, which is awesome. I've come to realize I could eat a box of donuts or a handful of broccoli and I'd gain the same amount of weight--a lot to be exact. Someone can explain that shit to me next (right after they explain my sleep issues).

Anywho, I know this is a dreaded personal post, so I'll wrap this boring shit up. But, I just wanted to write that for me. I feel a teeny bit better. Even if I still have a migraine. Ugh.