The P220 Super Match

My birthday is in 26 days, and I am SO not looking forward to another notch in my bedpost of aging. I'll feel a lot better, though, if I get this:

The Porno that Wasn't

I'm sure most of you have heard all the pissing and moaning about the movie "Zack and Miri Make a Porno". They got it reduced to R from an initial NC-17 rating. All because of the name. They don't actually do much in the way of pornography. There is some foul language, brief nudity, and some love scenes--that I've read are really more comedic than pornographic.

I started seeing some commercials for the movie recently. Some of them are about a movie called "Zack and Miri Make a Porno", but some of them are about a movie called "Zack and Miri". The movies seem an awful lot a like according to their commercials. Because they are the same movie. Some stations are not allowing the full title to be used! Ridiculous!

Furthermore, entire theatre companies are banning the movie--because of the title. If it were truly content, they would ban movies like "Saw V", which has some extremely disturbing scenes from what I can tell.

My verdict: I'm going to see this movie JUST because it has porno in the title. Indeed.

Happy Halloweenie

Well, kids, the witching hour is upon us. Happy Halloweenie! I'll be masquerading as Mrs. Palin this evening.

Trick or treat.

Smell my feet.

Give me something good to eat.

If you don't,

I don't care.

I'll pull down your underwear.

Ya'll don't eat too much candy now, ya hear?

The Elephant in the Room

So, it's that time again. Yes, this is a personal post. I know, I know. We hate these posts. Nobody wants to hear about my personal problems. Hey, I don't either. But, this is my blog, and I am entitled to do whatever the hell I want, so you'll just have to suffer through it. Besides, the description clearly indicates that "purposeless personal stories" are part of the deal. Heh.

Anyway, I am feeling the need to write about some stuff that is going on. I don't like to spend much time talking about myself because, well, I'm really just not that interesting, and it isn't like my readership is all that expansive, so I can't really afford to lose people to the boredom that arises when my life comes into focus as the daily topic. I'll try not to drone on and on about shit that doesn't pertain to you, but, you know me, and, let's be honest, being brief is not my forte.

I guess we can start with why my blogs have been sporadic as of late. I apologize to the three of you who actually read my blog. God, I hope there are at least three. Ah, who am I kidding, the two of you. I digress. I have been pretty busy lately. Work has been kind of sinusoidal. One day I'm slammed for ten hours, the next, I sit here and stare at the wall for as many hours as I can stand until I convince my boss I can go home. I've been going out to my client's sites (I have five projects for one big client right now) at least once a week, and there is always a reason for me to be out of work at least one other day every week lately. Whether it is the doctor because my ear is crackling every FUCKING time I equalize the pressure in them (sorry, but the shit is getting old, and the doctor says it's just my head being stopped up, and I have to wait it out), going to the corporate office for the day, or any of a number of other random reasons that seem to come up all the time, I'm out a lot lately. My contractors love it. I'm also still going home pretty frequently to see my grandfather who had the stroke. (If you don't know what I'm talking about, see blogs "Crooked Smile, Update #1, Update #2, Update #3, Update #4, and Update #5.)

On a side (and better) note, he is doing much better. He can walk normally now. He can eat mostly normally (small bites, but all foods). He can lift his arm all the way up, but he still can't use his fingers well on that hand. He can talk fairly well, but it is often hard to understand him. He doesn't slur, he just doesn't enunciate well. It gets worse as the day goes on and he becomes tired. But, he's doing pretty well all things considered.

Now, back to the excuses. I've been pretty worn out from all the driving/riding. In the past week, I've been in the car for 15 hours not counting normal day driving. Ugh. I haven't been feeling great in general, anyway. I don't know if it is the thyroid or just me. So, I haven't been all fired up about much of anything, lately, so I haven't been writing much. At least the election is winding down, and you won't have to hear me bitch about that much anymore. I'm sure I'll have plenty of shit to say about Obama when he gets elected. Until he takes away the Bill of Rights and my first amendment right to free speech. Ah, those will be good times.

The big news just hit yesterday (well the day before that, really, but confirmed yesterday), and that is the real reason I've been driven to write a personal post. Travis' dad has colon cancer. Yeah. He's only 62. We go today to talk to the surgeon. We don't know much right now. We haven't been told the stage, the outlook, the process, the plan, anything. But, I should have some news today, and I'll at least feel better when I don't have a million what-ifs flying through my brain. I need to be able to be there for Travis, and, being analytical, I can't do that very well without facts and figures and answers.

So, that's what's going on. Those are the things on my mind. It's obviously a little more important than bitching about a President we even don't have yet. Although, I guess I could still bitch about the one we do have. He's about slap retarded. And, so am I, I guess.

Curses! Foiled Again!

I'm sure you've heard about the two neo-Nazi guys plotting to kill Obama. Apparently, they were going to start a rampage and kill 88 and behead 14. All black, of course, as that is sort of the white supremacist way, I suppose. No doubt these guys are a few french fries short of a Happy Meal. No doubt, at all. What gets me, though, is that they planned for Obama to be their last victim. I get wanting to be all climactic and leave the biggest one for last, but do they really expect they aren't going to get caught after killing 88 (and beheading 14) American citizens? Furthermore, they expected that they wouldn't live to kill Obama, but, rather, they would die trying. Well, if you don't believe in yourself, you can never succeed, but at least they were going to go for that old college try. Even if it killed them. Which, I have to say, would probably be an improvement.

If, Then, Else

From MSNBC Comics (Non Sequitur by Wiley):

If that wasn't the story of my life then maybe this is.

Or this.

Story of My Life

From MSNBC Comics:

Adam by Brian Basset

Now, if that ain't the story of my life, I don't know what is.

Only in HOTlanta

From MSNBC Weird News:

"Atlanta Pentecostal preacher Thomas Meeks told the Journal-Constitution in October that he was "in talks" to create a "Survivor"-type TV reality show in which the twice-divorced evangelist navigates a field of single women and selects a winner. "Holy Hook Up: Who Will Be the Next Mrs. Weeks?" will, he said, be a "very tasteful, five-star presentation." [Atlanta Journal-Constitution, 10-7-08]"

And, to this I say, aren't Christians supposed to stay married "until death do us part"? Twice-divorced? I'll get right on that "Holy Hook Up". Because I want me a man that can't stay married!

As Seen on TV: Dukes of Hazzard

From MSNBC Weird News:

"Almost Awesome: Motorist Michael Mills Jr., 38, who was making a getaway from police in Chesapeake, Va. (who wanted him on identity-theft charges), broke through a drawbridge warning arm and tried to jump ('Dukes of Hazzard'-style) onto the span that was being lowered (but which wouldn't be completely down for another several minutes). He missed, and the car plunged into the Elizabeth River, where it sank (but Mills was rescued and arrested). [Virginian-Pilot, 9-20-08]"

Now, dat's funny raight thar. I don't keer who ye are!

Hitting Close to Home

So, I've heard all this talk about the economy and how shitty it is. I haven't really been impacted all that much. Sure, my grocery and gas bills are taking a huge chunk of my entry-level salary, but I've been doing OK. We cut back on eating out (well, I did, Travis still eats out for almost every breakfast and lunch), and we are being a lot more conscious of what is going on with our money. But we don't have 401ks yet. My company matches, but I don't really have the extra money to spare right now. I was hoping I could start when I got my raise this year, but it wasn't even "cost-of-living", so there went that idea. (My theory is you miss it less if you do it when you get a raise because you were living on the previous number and you hadn't gotten used to the new amount. My bring home went up less than 100 bucks a month, and I really needed every penny I could get at that point.) But, like I said, we don't have 401ks that took a huge hit, or anything like that. We both have jobs (although I wonder everyday if mine is going to be here when I get here in the morning...). We are really doing OK. We haven't personally been hit by anything extraordinarily horrible during all of this bullshit.

And then I get this email from my dad:

"Well, Lynetta [my step mom] lost her job today. Her boss said that they didn't have enough work, so she didn't need to come back.

"Not sure what we will do about that. Couldn't have happened at a worse time."

Shit. Shit, shit, shit, shit, SHIT!

It's hitting a lot closer to home now. I hadn't really known anyone who had gotten laid off (at least, not anyone very close to me). Until now. And, it's really starting to settle in for me now. And it makes my chest hurt. Like, seriously. As if I needed another reason to be stressed or another reason to keep me up at night--so worried sick that I can't sleep. And, now, I'm even more worried about my job because she had no clue it was coming, and I know our office is having a hard time since of the "change of management" (i.e., the guy who sold his business to our business five years ago opened his business back up this year and took all our clients). Corporate seems committed to getting this office back on its feet, but I can't help but wonder how long that commitment is going to last. It's been almost a year since the guy left. And, we still have no clients of our own--just working for corporate's clients right now.

Fortunately, dad says they can make it at least a few months on what they have put back. It will totally wipe them out, but they won't lose their house or destroy their credit for at least a few months. If my step-mom can get unemployment (yeah, watch her not be able to get it, but some piece of shit who doesn't deserve it--because they QUIT--has no trouble getting it--and, yes, I'm speaking of a specific case, so I know the shit goes on) for a couple months, that will maybe give them a little more time. Then, their credit will take a huge hit when the bills start coming in late, and, eventually, they will lose their house if she can't get another job. Things are tight for them, too.

So, I guess no one cares about my personal stories. I really try to keep it to a minimum at this point. But, I thought this was a very pertinent issue. I hope that everyone can take it to heart. It could be your parents, you, or me next. It's not going to be a very good Christmas this year--and I don't just mean because we won't have any presents.

The Red Dot Doesn't Lie (But I Do!)

Because I'm such a liar, I figured I'd take an "unbiased" quiz to see what political party I best associate with. Now, of course, I lied on all my answers so I wouldn't look like the biggest Republican on the face of the planet, but here are my results, anyway.

If you can't read it, please click for larger picture. Go take the quiz for yourself, and, if you've got the balls, post your results in the comments.

Republicrat

So, I tried to tell everybody that I'm not a real McCain lover. I know nobody believes me. That's OK. I don't give a shit what you people think, anyway. I answer to one person, and one person only, and that's my maker. I say all that to say, that I'm honestly not a super Republican. I have a few views on both sides of the (barbed and razor wired) fence. For the Republican side, I cling bitterly to my guns--because that's my fucking right, and you can't tell me it's not. For the Democratic side, I believe in choice. I think a woman should have the right to terminate a pregnancy. I think there should be rules and guidelines, but I'd like to have the option if, say, I were raped and impregnated by some low-life son-of-a-bitch that gets his jollies by fucking defenseless women against their will. Or, say, the pregnancy was so complicated and problematic that my life, and therefore the baby's life, were in danger. I'd take the option to save one life instead of risking two. So sorry. Go ahead, call me a baby killer. I can take it. (See above.)

All that was leading up to the Georgia US Senate seat race between Saxby Chambliss and Jim Martin. Now, I can't say I'm in love with Saxby Chambliss, but Jim Martin's stupid fucking commercials are really getting on my damn nerves. Now, some (if not all) are paid for by the organization trying to get Democrats in the Senate. But, he's a Democrat, kids, so that's Mr. Martin (even though he claims he is upset that "they" did that!). The one that just crawls my ass is the one about Chambliss voting for a 23% sales tax on EVERYTHING you buy--including GAS AND FOOD! Oh, my, fucking, shit. Heaven forbid we pay sales tax on gas and food. News flash, retards. The fair tax abolishes income tax, gift tax, and every other tax you pay that you think you shouldn't, really. It REPLACES taxes you already pay. It does NOT INCREASE taxes. Especially not 23%.

Now, Chambliss has finally put one out that refutes Martin's the Democrats' claims. Which is great. But, he shouldn't need to. If you can't find anything wrong with your opponent that is legitimate, and you have to MAKE SHIT UP, you are shit out of luck, my frenemies. I just know all these bumblefucked bumpkins are going to go "Oh, my God! 23% sales tax! I'm voting for Jim Martin!" And, we'll be screwed. Awesome.

Skid Marks: On the Road and In My Pants

So, have you ever ridden a motorcycle? First, let me tell you that it is the single best thing I've ever done in my life. Really. I mean, where else can you sit on a 300 pound vibrator and no one thinks anything about it? I kid, I kid. But, really, I loved my bike. I miss it every freakin' day. I want need another one before the withdrawals kill me.

But, motorcycles are also super dangerous. Not usually the bikers fault, true, but dangerous nonetheless. Stupid motorists aside, I know I've locked my back tire down a time or two. There was a skid mark on the pavement, and, I admit, I had to check to make sure there wasn't one in my britches.

Well, all those days may be a'changin'. A new study shows that anti-lock brakes are beneficial for bikes--just like cars. They reduce crashes by 38%! That's a lot!

Because the number of bikes on the road has literally doubled in the past ten years, and the fatalities aren't far behind, I think this is great news. The cost increase would be about $1000, but I'd definitely buy a bike with anti-lock brakes now--even if it cost a little more. Yay for new safety features!

*Note: Anti-lock brakes on bikes is not really new. They were introduced in 1988 by BMW. They are actually on about 40 of the 2008 models, but they are typically touring bikes made by BMW, Harley, and Honda--not the sport bikes.

Booze Brain

So, apparently, if you're a smart cookie when you're 10, you'll be an alcoholic when you're 40. Great... I'm screwed. This article claims that for every additional 15 points of your IQ score taken at age 10, women have a 1.38 times increased likelihood of having higher levels of alcohol consumption and drinking-related problems when they are adults. Men have a 1.17 increased chance. Now, I don't know if that starts from zero or some other point--like, say, the level which is considered mental retardation. But, regardless, mine comes in at about 135. That's 9-15s from zero and about 4-15s from mental retardation levels. So, I'm about 4 to 18 times more likely to be a boozer. Big surprise there. I do enjoy my cocktails...

Always a Lazy Way

Since there is always a lazy way to do everything, I just thought I'd let you know you can go here to carve a virtual pumpkin. No mess. No clean up. It even lights up when you're done. Happy Halloweenie!

Who's On First? The Second.

Source unknown. But funny shit. Oh, and is it just me, or does that look like black crayon? Who writes signs in crayon? And, man, that would take a lot of crayons! But, I'm just going to go out on a limb here and say, "I hear ya!"

Hypocrite Much?

Apparently, Obama's "white grandmother" (as he referred to her in a speech about race) is sick. First, I'd like to say that I'm sympathetic to his situation. My grandmother is my lifesaver, and without her, I don't know what I'd do. I can't even think about the fact that she is going to have to leave me someday.

Now, I'm going to dig in to Obama.

At least now we know he does have some allegiance and commitment to someone. Unlike his pastor, etc, etc. I applaud him for knowing what is really important--his family, not running for office. We already figured out that McCain knew what was important--the people of the nation, not running for office--when he suspended his campaign to attempt to get the bailout passed because he felt that was best for the people.

But, I can't help but think how the media might be portraying this if, say, Palin was going home to take care of baby Trig because he was very ill with some sort of complication. Because we all know that Palin should be home with her family and not out trying to be a politician. Silly girl, jobs are for boys--especially important jobs!

Obama's presidency is not going to be more important to him than his family (or whomever he has an allegiance to). Why should Palin's vice presidency be more important than her family?

Sculpture in Motion

OK, last set of pictures. I swear. Here are the "Sculpture in Motion" pictures from our trip to the Atlanta Botanical Garden.

Scarecrows in the Garden

As if I didn't inundate you enough with the 75 pictures of the Atlanta Botanical Garden, here are the ones of the scarecrows from the "Scarecrows in the Garden" event that goes through the end of the month.